My name is Yogi, or Papa Bear to all the bitches out there, and I have to say that all of this P.C. bullcrap is really ticking me off, and I feel that it really is hindering the process of governing our great nation, so I have decided to do something about it and run for office, as Benevolent Dictator of the united States of America. If elected as Benevolent Dictator, here is what I promise to do:
First I will solve our our big border problem and end all this stupid arguing and whining once and for all. I will build a big stinking wall around all U.S. borders, including Canada, (I know those bitches are up to something up there!) I will do so by using undocumented immigrant labor (illegal wetbacks), and then let the hardworking illegal wetbacks stay, because they're usually who I get my weed from, what can I say, those little brown farming bastages grow good stuff, and can seriously pick some lettuce, then I'll send all of the people in the U.S. who just want to sit around on their fat asses and collect unemployment or welfare to Mexico. You know like the trailor trash idiots or ghetto mofo's who go on Jerry Springer because they doen't know who their babies daddies are. Then I'd empty out all U.S. prisons into other countries, just air dop their asses into places like Iraq, Ahfganistan, Iran or other hell hole countries, just to see what would happen.
Second I would solve the healthcare problem by giving everybody who can't afford health insurance, and all illegal wetbacks, fake Canadian I.D.'s, because Canada has free health care. Now, since the U.S. has a problem with its citizens being overweight, I'd take cars away from all fat asses and make them walk, or wobble to work, whatever the case may be, and thus creating a healthier America, reducing traffic and lowering our dependance on fossil fuels.
I would solve the homeless problems by sending them all to a state we're not really using, like Idaho or Kansas, and have Sally Struthers do commercials for them. If she can feed, cloth and send kids to school for thirty cents a day in other countries, she should be able to fix the homeless up with all the Wild Turkey and Mad dog 20/20 they need.
The National Debt, and taxes, can be all solved one way, WEED, legalize it, the government grows it and distributes it, and the revenue generated can replace taxing the crap out of the middle class.
Hell we could even sell it to other countries while keeping prices low by paying illegal brown wetbacks $4.00 per hour to to grow and harvest it.
There is a growing concern over education in this country and how our nation is falling behind. The solution is simple, raise educational standards, provide testing for reading disorders and other wussy learning disorders, then provide the help the child needs. Then, I'd arm the Teachers with bullwhips, and other child beating tools for when the little bastages get out of line, and make parents pay heafty fines if their precious little Suzies, Tommies, Pedro's or LaKwandas don't pass classes, tests or are acting up. Then you better believe that parents will make sure their kids study and we'll bring back a little thing called discipline and responsibility.
I already addressed some of the ways I'd work on the National budget above, and here are some more; I'd curb spending by personaly beating the crap out of any other politicians who decide to do stupid crap like using federal money to buy stuff that is extreemly overpriced (like when congress bought toilet seats for $1,000 a pop to replace the ones in the public bathrooms at the capital) Then invite 100 citizens from all 50 states to each give the offending politician a swift kick in the rectal cavity, this will allow my peers to grow more conscious of how they spend money. I'd make a low flat tax, so that everyone pays the same percent.
if any of the above offends you, well
GO SCREW YOURSELF you wussy
So Vote Yogi in 2008 BITCHES
I edited my profile with me !
