Xenomorph

Hello! You might remember me from such films as Alien, Aliens, the dreaded Alien 3, and Alien Ressurection, although, technically we weren't *true* Xenomorphs in the latter (silly scientists spliced our DNA with people, bad idea). First and foremost, the previously mentioned films were documentaries and "the events occured in real time". Somehow the viewing public got them confused with fiction and the rest is history. By human standards the Xenomorph life cycles isn't a considerably pleasant ordeal, but hey, neither is human birth (or human conception from what some women tell me *ZING*). Essentially, we all start out as a slimey little spider-like critter that have been aptly titled "Face Huggers". Take a wild guess at what they do... Times up! See, all Face Huggers want to do is just that, give a little hug. Our victims-- err, I mean, our "friends" who are the hug-ee, are only frightened by our profound affection. So, if ever you see a sweet, innocent looking Face Hugger coming your way, be sure to let him give you a squeeze, it's all about the love, man! Anyway, after a Face Hugger finds a "special friend" the little guy gives a "special hug". This special hug is how the cutest, cuddliest critter in all the known galaxies is fashioned, ME! Basically, (and i know this sounds gross) we "hatch" from our Face Huggers new friend as soon as our teeth develope and are sharp enough to hack-- err, tickle our way out. It is a very pleasant sensation for the host; alot of giggling, dancing, and entrails. Once we emerge we are sure to take extra special care of our new friend who took the time to kindly provide us with a gestation home. Once we spring free, we grow *incredibly* quickly. Alot of that time is spent in hiding until we reach our adult hieght of a very friendly and non-intimidating seven and a half feet tall. Some interesting pointers about us: We possess shells, not skin (unless, as previously mentioned, you splice us with people-DNA, what a pain in the tail that was ) you not only have the fiery love-goo to look out for, but you have a saturating explosion of fiery love-goo to look out for. We don't just "spray" like you silly humans do when you rip and arm off (not that I've ever done that) we "POP" and make certain that everyone around us has the same oppurtunity to experience the sweet sweet nector which flows forth. Well, enough on that for now, I'll finish telling you about our puppy dog-like style of breeding once I gather these few new "special friends" for the newly born Face Huggers and seal them into the walls redering them motionless (trust me they like it, pay no attention to their screams).