failed actor and musician. full time lover.
I love the sound a girl makes when she does the splits naked on a wood floor. At least that's what my grandmother used to tell me. I love the term 'the splits'. I bring nothing to the table. I just look pretty and carry the money. Man's best friend is not a dog -- it's actually an old gym sock stuffed with bacon fat. I think I've pulled some groin ligaments that have been inactive since Viet Nam. There are too many people in the world for everyone to be successful. I like to kiss like there's no tomorrow. I wanna open a store called 'Perverts Galore'. I wanna write a book called 'My smog dog fell in the water'. Remain emotionally uninvolved. With my luck, the girl just showing up is romantic. I find the size of your head disturbing. I wish there was a law firm called 'Linger & Grope'. I wish there was a school called 'Our Lady of The Cock Block'. My favourite drink is rum... with a splash of lonely. My favourite thing to watch is cougars with camel toes doing the chicken dance. Nothing says I love you like "I give up". I'd like to smear waffles all over your back. I can't afford flannel -- I have to tape thousands of Q-tips to a sheet. I don't know what's best for me. (he skips away, clanking his head on a low streetlight)
Sting (the King), The Police, John Mayer, Counting Crows, Jeff Buckley, Josh Rouse, Bjork, Damien Rice, David Gray, Coldplay, Frank Sinatra, Chet Baker, Nina Simone, Frou Frou, Kathleen Edwards
Brazil, Manhattan, Airplane, Dancer In The Dark, Annie Hall, Love and Death, Buffalo '66, Nobody's Fool, Children of Paradise, The Princess and the Warrior, A Thousand Clowns, Gummo, North by Northwest, Fisher King, Loved, Nightmare Before Christmas, You and me and everyone we know
the OFF switch
Anything by Canadian poet Pier Giorgio Di Cicco, Rumi, the Haiku masters, poet Mary Oliver. American short story writers -- Ron Carlson, George Saunders, Rick Bass, T.M. McNally, Lorrie Moore, Chris Spain, Tony Earley, Mark Richard, Raymond Carver, Andre Dubus. Douglas Coupland, James Hillman, Joseph Campbell.
Sting, Woody Allen, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, the guy who invented grape shoelace licorice