"I AM YOUR VOICE"

I AM A MOTHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. A DAUGHTER 17 YRS OLD , AND A SON WHO IS 15 YR OLD AND DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM. THEY ARE MY LIFE AND MY WORLD. MY LIFE LIKE MANY FAMILIES. HAS BEEN SO DIFFEERENT WITH MY SON, BUT HE IS MY GREATEST TEACHER IN LIFE. LIKE MANY FAMILIES WHO ARE JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE WORD AUTISM. FAMILIES LIKE MINE FIGHT TO SURVIVE IT FOR HIM ! MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM WHEN HE WAS 2 1/2 YRS. EVEN BEFORE HIS DIAGNOSIS. I KNEW MY LIFE WAS GOING TO BE AN ADVENTURE. LIFE IN HIS YOUNGER YEARS WHERE SO UNPREDICTABLE AND UNFORGETABLE, AND I WOULD ALWAYS ASK WHY ! BECAUSE I DID NOT UNDERSTAND. IT FELT LIKE A DAY DIDNT PASS BY THAT I WAS NOT CRYING. MY FATHER AND MOTHER WOULD SAY TO ME. GOD HAS A REASON ! HE HAS CHOSEN YOU TO BE WITH JOHN. THERE IS A REASON . HE WILL MAKE YOU STRONG. BUT AT TIMES I DIDNT SEE THAT FAR AHEAD . HOW COULD I. I WAS LIVIN IN THE DAY AND IN THE MOMENT THAT WAS ALLOWED. ONE DAY I WENT TO SEE MY PRIEST AND I ASKED HIM WHY ME ! I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH . THIS IS SO HARD . HELP ! MY PRIEST FATHER JOHN SAYS TO ME. IT IS HARD I KNOW, YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS. BUT TONIGHT AS YOU LAY YOUR SON JOHN DOWN TO SLEEP. WATCH HIM . SIT BESIDE HIM ! THINK ABOUT ALL YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH WITH HIM SO FAR AND ALL YOU WILL GO THROUGH WITH HIM IN THE FUTURE. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND ASK YOURSELF . HAS GOD GIVEN ME MORE THE I CAN HANDLE. THEN COME BACK AND SEE ME .THEN YOU TELL ME YOUR ANSWER. I LEFT CRYING. BECAUSE NOW I FELT LIKE A BAD MOM. I WENT HOME AND DID JUST WHAT FATHER JOHN SAID TO DO. I WENT BACK TO SEE HIM. I SAID TO HIM. FAHTER JOHN. I HAVE LEARNED TO BE PATIENT , KIND AND NOT TO BE SO JUDGEMENTAL. TO NOT TAKE THINGS IN LIFE FOR GRANTED THAT I AM ABLE TO DO BUT MY SON STRUGGLE TO DO BUT WILL FIND THE STRENTH IN ME TO. I LEARNED IT IS OK TO BE SCARED BEACUSE I KNOW HE AT TIME IS FRIEGHTENED. HE IS MY STRENGTH AS I AM HIS. SO MY ANSWER TO YOU FATHER JOHN IS NO! THE GOOD LORD HAS NOT GIVEN ME MORE THEN I CAN HANDLE, BUT HAS GIVEN ME THE GREATEST TEACHER LIFE HAS TO OFFER. FAHTER JOHN SAID TO ME. I SPOKE WITH YOUR PARENTS. YOU NEED THEM . THEY ARE YOUR SUPPORT , LIKE YOUR HUSBAND, DAUGHTER, FAMILY AND FRIEND. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT. BECAUSE MANY DONT HAVE THAT. FAHTER JOHN THEN SAID TO ME. IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE ! TO HAVE YOUR SON NORMAL OR A MILLION DOLLARS . WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE. IT WAS SIMPLE FOR ME TO ANSWER! I CHOOSE A MIILION DOLLARS BECAUSE I WOULDNT CHANGE MY SON FOR NOTHNG IN THIS WORLD. WHAT HE HAS GIVEN ME IN MY LIFE . IS PRICELESS !! "REGUARDLESS OF WHAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH OR WHAT WE WILL GO THROUGH". HE IS 15 YRS OLD NOW. MANY OF HIS TEACHERS AND THERAPIST SAID HE WILL NEVER LEARN TO READ, WRITE , LAUGH , UNDERSTAND , JOKE, SHARE OR LOVE. AND HE HAS. HE HAS RECIEVED THE PRINCIPALS PLAQUE AWARD , PRESIDENTS ACCADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT AWARD AND IS AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT. I AM A VERY PROUD MOTHER OF MY SON WHO HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM. """"" BECAUSE HE CAN !!!! """"""""Mommy don't worry, because I'm happy, my world is the same as yours, but in my mind bigger, my happiness is like magic, It lifts me up, and im not bitter, life is sweet, as i'm flying, the clouds bring laughter upon my cheeks i like it, it's funny mommy you've helped me to spread my wings, i'm so proud of you, you fight for me, and when you watch me, you might wonder what im thinking, but there's no way to express what im feeling, it's beyond belief, and in life, many have doubted me, but im trying everyday in my own little ways, to prove that I DO UNDERSTAND, and whoever said i couldn't, look mommy.. I CAN.!!! by - Deja Ramirez