About Me

DESPERATION SQUAD IS THE GREATEST ROCK BAND OF ALL TIME!

Gosh, I'm just a simple guy. I sit home in my underwear and read books or look at pictures sent to me by girls in Japan. I go running alot, well until the one night when I was singing "The Boxer" down at the Pub, and you know the part where it goes "Li-la-li" and then this big drum crash comes down "Brrgh!" like that? Well, I do that myself in the microphone. It's big and loud and the kids just seem to love it. At the same time I jump up really high in the air and I try to time it so that I come down right at the end of the "Brrgh!" part. So it's all going peachy fine. I even managed to tell a Gene Tracy joke in the middle of the song. The only problem, as far as I could tell, is that I was doing the whole jumping up and down thing in flip/flops and I know that's okay if you're Jim Kerry or someone but I can tell you straight out, do not ever do these things in flip/flops! I woke up the next morning hobbling around like it was no one's business! And it still hurts a little and it's been over two months! And I have to start running again at some point because I have the best ass in rock and roll and if I get lazy and I start getting a little round down there, well it's just going to be too embarrasing for all concerned.Really it is.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet you someday, just for a chat. As long as you don't try to touch me. Well, okay, maybe, but only if you've gotten me silly drunk and have put something in my drink. Like maybe chocolate. I like chocolate! I have a couple of candy bars waiting for me right now. Mmm, yum! That's the stuff!

My Blog

Awaiting Approval

Well, I've been trying to do my MY SPACE duty and send out Happy Halloween greetings to everyone on my Friends list. It's a daunting task but I figure I should put some effort into it because, frankly...
Posted by on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 12:16:00 GMT

Boredom

Boredom vexes me like a pale shadow. Boredom envelopes me, fits me like an eardrum. Boredom is the earthworm of my life, boring holes in the rich manure-laced dirt of my body. Call it what you will...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Mar 2005 11:56:00 GMT

Potrait of the Artist as Monumental Prick

I am an artist! I am right! You want to butt heads with me? What do you know, huh? Just what the hell do you know? Living on the edge eating Top Ramen for dinner and dessert are we? Cruisi...
Posted by on Tue, 08 Feb 2005 15:04:00 GMT

Yay Tall

Everytime you asked one of the locals where the closest place they could acquire provisions was, they would get a glazed look in their eye, like a piping hot donut, make a sort of half motion with the...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Nov 2004 21:58:00 GMT

Big Groceries

The answer to the question was "No, I don't have a boyfriend," although we would have accepted "I will carry your surrogate child" or "Toledo, Ohio". However, we have many great consolation prizes ...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Nov 2004 13:02:00 GMT

LIKE WHITE NOISE

They told me I couldn't eat there. They told me I had to leave. They told me lots of stuff and you know what I said? I said, "You have a booger sticking out of your nose!" Oh, that got the...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Nov 2004 22:06:00 GMT

YOUR VOICE

Please call me And leave a message I don't want to talk to you I just want to hear your voice Sweet, sticky, sneaky seductive Like bathing in honey Just a half a minute will do Tell me ever...
Posted by on Wed, 27 Oct 2004 11:57:00 GMT

One day in my neighborhood

I go running a lot in my neighborhood. I live by a college and I can run the entire length of it and it's about 3 miles. I love running on the streets, as opposed to running on a track and certainly...
Posted by on Mon, 25 Oct 2004 13:04:00 GMT

Just another wacky day at my apartment

So this morning I'm getting out of the shower and I hear a knock on my door and I look out and it's a COP, and here I am in my freakin' underwear so I yell at him "just a second" and pull some pants o...
Posted by on Mon, 18 Oct 2004 12:22:00 GMT

Townies Pt. 1

More than anything, it was the weirdness that was getting to Edward. This had the trappings of being wondrously mordant, for Edward was easily the weirdest fish in the pond. Once, in a more golden era...
Posted by on Wed, 13 Oct 2004 21:32:00 GMT