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About Me

Ah, the age old question: Who am I? Staring down at his doe-eyed reflection, Derek Zoolander said it best, “I don’t know.” So… Let me just share some random things about myself:

If you’re looking for the girl who dances on tables at your local dive bar, keep looking… If I’m going to dance on a table it’s going to be at a classy joint! I also don’t believe in drinking and driving, unless of course sippy cups are used. I like to make sure there is no spillage on the leather seats.

I tend to be somewhat accident prone. In the last few months I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs, spilled food and drink ALL OVER nice clothes, and knocked an expensive painting off the wall at an art gallery; tripping over my own feet is not a rare thing either.
I have a strong dislike for body hair. One day, when I have loads of cash I will have full body laser hair removal to rid myself of those pesky little hairs. I also detest popcorn ceilings. It’s that sprayed on ceiling treatment that is often adorned with little bits of glitter. Please, just send it back to sixties, along with tie-dye and hippies!

It hasn’t been confirmed yet, but I may have an addiction to chewable, orange flavored vitamin C. And don’t even get me started on the chewable Echinacea from Trader Joes. Yummy!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The man who invented of the rotating circular bed and the designer of the piano key neck tie.

Ya know, instead of the "Who I'd Like to Meet" section, I think it would be a lot easier if we could all just list who we would not like to meet. Mine would go a little something like this: Anyone who uses the words, "hey baby" in an email, cat lovers, Dr. Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show, anyone who is proud of their Apache Junction heritage, circus clowns, and people who are consistently late. Who would you NOT like to meet?

If you get a friends request from me it’s probably because I saw something I liked… Perhaps buns of steel or even a gleaming personality. In any case, you can choose to accept or deny… But I prefer the former.

My Blog

Mystery Stain

There I was having a discussion with a close friend while lounging on her bed, when my hand casually swung over to find a hardened stain on the sheets. Without looking I continued to rub my fingers ov...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:01:00 GMT

The Braless Wonder: Starting a Revolution

I’ve always thought of her as a distraction, a menace to society. But the more I research, the more respect I have for Sue Ellen Mischke, the "Braless Wonder." Women, have you ever asked yo...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:15:00 GMT

My First Kiss

There he was, standing on the opposite side of the back yard. I gazed over at him with that come-hither look in my eye, but it didn't seem to get the point across. I realized at that point that I had ...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:04:00 GMT

What Goes Around Comes Around

I have long fingers& Not man hands, but just femininely long digits. I think God destined me to be a card dealer. Well, in first grade my fingers were the topic of discussion in "craft time." Britt...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 12:48:00 GMT

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

Last year I met this guy and I was sure that this was that man God had made especially for me. He was perfect. Tall, dark and handsome. He was funny, talented, passionate about the same things I was. ...
Posted by on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 12:38:00 GMT

Bipolar

Do you ever get around a particular person and you just can't act like yourself no matter how hard you try? I had never experienced this until last year when a certain gentleman entered the scene. For...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 19:06:00 GMT

The Day I Gambled and Lost

It was my first job. With that statement alone, you already know that it had to be bad, because something crazy always happens at your first job. Because I was new, it was still taboo to take a dump a...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Jan 2008 11:28:00 GMT

Have to Flush

There you are, having a pleasant conversation on the tele. No interruptions. No impropriety. And then you hear it, "Flush&" You can just make out the sound of the water swirling around the bowl as ...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 21:08:00 GMT

Like a Whore in the Night....

I grew up on the stage. Well, not literally. They would take me home from time to time for feedings, family time and the occasional cat nap. So doing a small church skit in front of 300-400 teenage...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Dec 2007 19:04:00 GMT

Standing Out in Silver Lake

I went to an art gallery opening in the hipster capitol of Los Angeles, Silver Lake. It was host to the usual snooty, art gallery crowd who tote wine glasses and use metaphors to describe the way th...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:40:00 GMT