I love my thirds!
"All my life, one person or another has been telling me to behave, saying don't let a guy know you're a depressed maniac on the first date, don't just be yourself, don't show your feelings. And the truth is, this is probably good advice. Men probably don't like overbearing, hotheaded women who give blow jobs on the first date."
"While feminism has changed the way many of us think and behave, while it has made men change diapers and do dishes and spend quality time with children while women perform neurosurgery and direct movies and trade Eurodollars, it has failed to truly change the way we feel."
Robyn's more than 10 commandments
Thou shalt not myspace under the influence
Thou shalt not grope passed out persons
Thou shalt not try to eat while watching Saw 3
Thou shalt not vomit in trash cans
Thou shalt not cover vomit with Victoria Secret catalogues
Thou shalt not cover the carpet in leaves
Thou shalt not eat at Denny's under the influence
Thou shalt not consider reversing on 95
Thou shalt not misplace fingers while on acid
Thou shalt not show up unannounced
Thou shalt not vomit in the bathroom sink and forget that thou did it
Thou shalt not do 80 in a 55 on Rt 73
Thou shalt not relocate to be with somebody
Thou shalt not make drunken phone calls to ex-boyfriends
Thou shalt not make drunken confessions
Thou shalt not hold the tap the wrong way while assisting somebody in a keg stand
Thou shalt not mope unless it's your turn
Thou shalt not break the bed
Thou shalt not honestly believe that there is a such thing as a "mature scumbag"
Thou shalt not rent a truck from uhaul without knowing where to drop it off
Thou shalt not mix jealousy with alcohol
Thou shalt not think that 5 years can make a true asshole stop being an asshole
Thou shalt not take bottles of alcohol out of my house
Thou shalt not vomit next to the toilet
Thou shalt not spin under the influence of single barrel Jack Daniels
Thou shalt not throw stones from glass windows
Thou shalt not use your so-called friends
Thou shalt not use sex as an icebreaker
Thou shalt not look back while walking away
Thou shalt not use my good spatula while making fruity pebble treats
Thou shalt not try to ask for a Mike's lime when Dempsters is crowded and be shocked when you get a mudslide
Thou shalt not drink said mudslide and order 2 more when you have to drive
Thou shalt not make Chris take you to Dempsters the next day to pick up your car
Thou shalt not think that just because somebody is ugly that they will not screw you over
Thou shalt not believe anything until given a reason to believe it
Thou shalt not wear heeled shoes when walking around in Hoboken for 6 hours
Thou shalt not let your issues run your life (It's Jersey, we all have issues here)
Thou shalt not knock over lamps when trying to be discreet about "dating yourself" (phrase trademarked by Caroline)
Thou shalt not corrupt the innocent
Thou shalt not walk all over me just because I go out of my way for others more often than I probably should
Thou shalt not mistake my sarcasm for bitchiness
Thou shalt not ask to hang out with someone unless you actually plan to hang out with them. Superficial plans are just rude
Thou shalt not ask questions while drunk and severely sleep deprived that will lead to future embarassment
Thou shalt not put phone books in brief cases
Thou shalt not confuse Roman and Greek Gods
Thou shalt not excessively taunt me about my zombie phobia
Thou shalt not run into curbs in Manhattan - a split tire WILL be the result.
Thou shalt not talk constantly about your ex during a first date.
Thou shalt not honestly think that starting a game of asshole at 8 am is a good idea.
Thou shalt not wear corsets too tight - bruised ribs may be the result
Thou shalt not try to keep track of a wandering Robyn while she is intoxicated - you'll only lose sleep in the process and you'll never be able to keep track anyway
Thou shalt not proudly state your engagement and then ask somebody if you can grope them all night
Thou shalt not buy drinks at a Hyatt when it is not happy hour - expect to pay $11 for a jack and coke
