♥~Angel Eyes~♥

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Hi Everyone! Welcome to My Page. I am a non custodial mother who continues to struggle with the daily struggles of maintaining my relationship with my daughter. I am also a survivor of domestic violence. Through the years I have done my best to overcome the pattern of relationships with men that are abusive as well as recover from the past, i guess you can say. I am now married and have 3 beautiful additional thriving, beautiful, smart, funny, loving children. Today we, as a family, continue to do our best to maintain a relationship with my daughter. For years I wouldn't discuss or divulge the fact that I was a non custodial mother because of the stigma that was attached. When people hear this they automatically think "what did she do to loose custody of her child?" Well folks, stop thinking black and white. Our family courts are not what you think that they "should be!" Just because someone or a mother looses custody of their children doesn't always mean that they have done somehting horrible or disgusting to loose custody. After years of feeling guilty, hiding my pain, I suddenly realised there are more mother's out there than just me. We each have our own stories and triumphs. But we are not bad mother's or bad people. Then you add in the world of being a non cusotidal parent. This world is a world of Misses, the things we miss, the denied visitations, phonecalls, simple pictures, the everyday waking up wondering.... is my child ok today, going to bed saying a prayer for your child, the missed holidays, and so on. Through all of the years what has been overlooked is the child who has missed out tremendously. Of family, friends, oppurtunities, and that is the sad tale to this. Finally with the support of my family and friends I no longer feel afraid to voice my oppionion on this matter or to continue with the fight to someway reach people to understand the epidemic that is going on within our family court system today. Through my wonderful network of support I have also realised that the horrible guilt that a parent feels does not need to be carried alone!!!! Your past can be shared, heard and understood! So if you struggle everyday with the effects of being a non custodial parent or a survivor you are not alone!You know, as I sit back and think about the horrible things that are happening in the lives of adults and children, I realize something. Children are hurting, Adults are hurting. We are suffering and going through pain that most people would never know about. I walk the streets or go to the store, yet many people never see the pain in my eyes. I see it, and can see it on many other people, but sometimes, it is difficult to say the least. But the pain is still there. I also realize that despite the fact that you can move on, get over, do better, the pain is still there and never goes away. So if as adults we carry such pain in our lives of a non custodial parent, for example, what about our children? What about their pain that they will have to carry through out their lives?
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