Brian profile picture

Brian

Perverted pigtail lover

About Me

Brain damaged but really a nice guy underneath the shyness and the inability to understand other people. The part of my brain that reads nonverbal signals was fucked up when I was three so with new people I either come off as an overbearing a&&hole or so shy I make a rock look outgoing. I have a tendency to say things I shouldn't. I'm a very lonely and sad person, who has given up on life. Come join me on my downward spiral into oblivion and self destruction.

My Interests

Pigtails, redheads, Space exploration, The Moon, science fiction, science fact, Anime, gadgets, home built robots, engineering, physics, latex, fetishwear, BDSM

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can deal with my problems and maybe give me hope that life is worth living. Petite Redhead with pigtails a major bonus.

Music:

Disturbed, NIN, Garbage, Johnny Cash (Hurt is my personal theme song)

Movies:

Highlander (the original, all else is crap)

Television:

BattleStar Galactica, Good Eats, Stargate SG1, not much else on TV worth watching.

Books:

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (Heinlein), Enders Game (Card), Have Spacesuit Will Travel (Heinlein), The Long Run (Moran), Harry Potter (Rowling)

Heroes:

Albert Einstein, Chuck Yeager, The Mercury 7, Neil Armstrong, Scotty

My Blog

Is she the one?

You know, I had given up on love. I had decided I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, that there was no one on Earth who could get me. No way anyone could know the pain I have been through. ...
Posted by Brian on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 01:40:00 PST

Doing much better

well been 4 weeks on the Effexor, and my mood has improved dramaticly. Went back to the Doctor on friday and he went ahead and added Wellbutrin to the Effexor to help deal with the side effects I was ...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 07:18:00 PST

2 weeks on Effexor XR

well it's been 2 weeks since I started taking an anti depressant. I am still not up to the full dosage my Doctor wants me on but should be there next week. Only real side effect I've noticed has been ...
Posted by Brian on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 03:40:00 PST

Brian is dead

Brian Locke died 32 years ago. I am not that Brian Locke. I am the cripple who took his place. I have spent the last 32 years thinking I was him, trying to live his life, and failing. But his life end...
Posted by Brian on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 01:22:00 PST

Nice to know I'm not alone

I joined a mailing list for people with Traumatic brain injuries and I am finding out I am not as alone as I thought. I finally have people I can talk to about my problems and not wanna smack the shit...
Posted by Brian on Sat, 27 May 2006 11:21:00 PST

Trying to get on Disability

Well after much reflection and research into my type of brain injury, I have discovered I am not as alone in my problems as I thought. Turns out my behavior reads like a textbook description of right ...
Posted by Brian on Thu, 18 May 2006 12:15:00 PST

To be or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,And by opposing end them? To di...
Posted by Brian on Sun, 14 May 2006 01:01:00 PST

The Nature of Humor

I was chatting with Micki and I was popping off one liners left and right, making puns as I usually do, when she said I was funny. Of course the response to that comment is always "Funny 'haha' or fun...
Posted by Brian on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 11:30:00 PST

Decided to try keeping a personal journal

I decided to start keeping a personal journal, a real pencil and paper journal. Why? Because there are some things I don't feel like sharing with you people, not that anyone really reads this anyway. ...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 10:51:00 PST

the demon of self doubt

For most people, it's easy to know who your friends are. Not for me. The part of my brain that processes that sort of thing is gone. What I wind up doing is believing someone is my friend, and only fi...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 14 Mar 2006 09:50:00 PST