Darack Obama

i've done alot of farting, and i've been fat i'll fight you right now baby jesus. i'm in here for robbery, armed robbery, i once punched a dude in the jaw. i tried to rape a moving cargo train. what we have here is a failure to communicate. and the children think, "oh this is candy, i'm having fun." Here is a man who would not take it anymore. i love this game. don't dig to deep. you might get burned by the molten lava. fuck you, you fucking fuck.hey all that swearing reminds me... I FUCKING LOVE ASHLEY LAINE HECKATHORN!!! that's right i said it. i went there.... there's a bruise for ya. she's the apple of my banshee. she's got me feeling ripped as a kite. i will love her unconditionally until the day she gets sick of my ass. then i will love her from afar. She's UNBELIEVABLE!! OH!!! she's told me she will love me forever. and i will do the same. it's like we fit together fucking perfectly. fucking free-masons puzzle pieces yo. for real. she is my best friend. sorry to those of you who think you are my best friend. it's not really a big loss though. it's just me. that guy who stands next to the amazing girl and people wonder... how'd he get her... word on the street is that he kidnapped her and brainwashed her into thinking he was super-mega-ultra rad. nope...apparently she sees in me what i hope to someday see in myself. someone worth loving."I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."- Oscar Levant"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else"- Benjamin Franklin (who is dead sexy btw)"Success has many parents, but failure is an orphan""Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment""One reason i don't drink is that i want to know when i am having a good time."- Nancy Astor"It's amazing how low you go to get high." - John Lennon"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." - Hubert Humphrey"Friends are god's apology for relatives.""We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them." - Evelyn Waugh"Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.""what if god's a woman? not only am i going to hell, i'll never know why."- Adam Ferrara"it isn't what they say about you. it's what they whisper."- Errol Flynn"some people will believe anything if you whisper it to them.""happiness is having a scratch for every itch."- Ogden Nash"happiness is merely the remission of pain""hard work spotlights the character of people. some turn up their sleeves. some turn up their nose. and some don't turn up at all."- Stan Ewing"like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to stay on my toes."- Frank Drebin"there is a fine line between 'hobby' and mental illness"-Dave Barry"one thing you can give away and still keep is your word." "he had decided to live forever or die in attempt."- joseph heller, c22"the key to immortality is to first live a life worth remembering."- Bruce Lee"i want to prove that i'm strong and independent and i can't do that alone."- Niles Crane, Frasier"My girlfriend said she was seeing another guy. I told her to rub her eyes."- Emo Phillips"it isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out. it's the grain of sand in your shoe.""never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you."- Joey Adams"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." Ingrid Bergman"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.""Lying is like aloholism. You are always recovering.""love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke"- Lynda Barry"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down you house, you can never tell." - Joan CrawfordWhat I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction -Chuck Palahniuk