NY/LA |
At the corner of Central Park West and 68th, a hawk drops into a silent stoop. I assume I am the only one who sees it, and I congratulate myself for being so zoologically astute. Such a ke...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:07:00 GMT |
Sweep the leg |
Sweep the legYears later, I met Daniel Russo.At the card table in the yellowish backroom of the mechanic shop he looked smaller now, slouched and buttressed against the weight of the second-half of hi...
Posted by on Fri, 19 May 2006 17:29:00 GMT |
A man not to be trifled with |
I fear Tom Cruise's father. Often he calls, late at night, for directions on how to connect the VCR to his new satellite receiver. There is no way to answer fast enough for his satisfactio...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 16:10:00 GMT |
Ever since Walt died, they can't control the mouse |
He used to be down Orlando all the time, but now he seldom leaves the boardroom in LA. He uses a stolen key-card to break into the janitor's closets and the boiler room, so he can sleep in the w...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Mar 2006 14:27:00 GMT |
He doesn't still beat his wife |
My brother called me today from the police station, in tears.
"The guys down at the dock said they wouldn't respect me if I didn't beat my wife."
"Did they actually say that?" I asked, skeptica...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 09:13:00 GMT |
MySpace, the final frontier |
As of today, I am friends with Billy Shatner (I call him Billy.) In your fucking face!
Posted by on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 17:41:00 GMT |
There are many things to do today, and I will do none of them |
My roommate is depressed, and it has begun to frighten away my friends and family. Our apartment has become a swirling vortex of neglect and shame -- empty beer bottles litter the floor, soiled ...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Dec 2005 13:17:00 GMT |
Radio lovesong |
The sun is shining brighter today, and the birdsong more melodious andsweet. I am in love, and life is beautiful.She is a member of the afternoon's edgy, irreverent FM talk-radio show, and ...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 14:49:00 GMT |
David Byrne eases the pain |
I came to work in a giant suit today and as my coworkers rose as one from their cubicles, compelled by their time-clocked hive-mind to get coffee, I began performing Byrne's charmingly intense spasmod...
Posted by on Wed, 30 Nov 2005 13:19:00 GMT |
Taste the rainbow of ass-beatings |
Why the hell is Lucky always running from those obnoxious brats who are trying to take his cereal? Leprechauns are creatures of unique and immeasurable power -- couldn't he just as easily destro...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Nov 2005 22:20:00 GMT |
