what can i say? tiresome... (yawn)
-I dislike harsh lighting,eating in loud restaurants and screaming in clubs to have a conversation.I ADORE:-laughing at inside jokes -making sushi for those I love -putting on lip gloss -playing snake with my cat -writing a good letter or poem -listening to the flawed sound of live music -fun stuff!
even if you are not wise to the world, you must know the only thing i find more pathetic than women with low self esteem is using punctuation to make faces. i hate the winking one, i hate the smiling one and the worst is the one that is supposed to look like a face with a tongue sticking out. what the fuck does it all mean? i don’t know who started this movement or why. it's the punctuation as faces epidemic that rattles my brain as much as the women on myspace who post pics of themselves in lingerie. just as a rule, you should only post scantily clad pics of yourself if you are relatively attractive and height weight proportionate. thank you for your cooperation. ;)
i wipe the kitchen counter constantly, even though i don't have time. i like the smell of gasoline. putting two, not one protective covers on a public toilet seat makes me feel safer even though i squat three inches above it. i never take the first book off the shelf. i try to sit up straight. i pull the ends of my hair out constantly and leave them on people's car seats. i drive with the music really loud. i prefer the company of gay men over women. i drink my coffee before i brush my teeth. i push my cuticles back constantly. ditto on applying chapstick. i don't know how to work my DVD player. deleting spam from my five email accounts makes me feel productive. i like rubbing my cat's ears. i listen to the same CDs over and over. i fall in love with strangers at the grocery store. i like to vacuum. my new years resolution has been the same for the past three years. i still haven't kept up with an exercise routine. i fantasize about being on Oprah. i complain constantly. i always forget to buy cat food. i don't eat IN fast food restaurants. i kill about three plants a year. i always root for the underdog. i'm the only one who laughs at bad jokes. i know the names of Angelina & Brad's adopted children. i do laundry once a week if i have time. i never do the dishes. sometimes i'm on myspace for hours. i can't add or subtract change in my head. i avoid making left turns. i'm a good tipper. i switched from beer to wine.i'm obsessed with eyebrows and will stare at yours intently and judge you by how much hair you have above your eyes. i like a good arch. a good solid hairy arch works for me. i think that jennifer aniston probably sits in her dressing room crying, drinking wine and wondering how she could have been so foolish. i think that i'm a total douche bag for giving a crap about shit like that.DEAR LUAN, i too think that everything happens for a reason and i think that because oprah said it's true. i wish that mark ruffalo would fall in love with me.i want edward norton to run around my kitchen shirtless circa American History X. i think that the only thing worse than being an unproductive member of society is NOT knowing you're an unproductive member of society.
i will talk. you will open up. i will describe the shape and color of my poop. you will cringe. i will give you status reports about my bowel movements. you will object, passively. i will be confused by your lack of sharing. you will tell me i'm gross. i will speak the way they do in a locker room after a game. you will squirm. i will ask for details, explicit details. you will tell me to mind my own business. i will pry into your life. nothing is taboo. i will discuss every topic with the same casualness one would have when ordering a sandwich. you will be uncomfortable. i will pretend not to notice. you will tell me i am hardened and cynical. i will agree. you will find all of my soft spots. i am pleased. you will laugh at my jokes. i will get under your skin. you will consider this a bad thing. i will feel close to you. you are my friend. ..</style
