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About Me


Whats up my caucasians?! I go by Matthew. It's my middle name. My parents got my first name from my great-grandfather. So my full name is- Great-Grandpa Matthew Erickson.
When I was a kid, I was a paperboy, but I grew up to be a three dimensional person.
I hate vague people...you know what I mean.
I've lived in Montana, Colorado, Texas, and Virginia. I was born in Kansas. Kansas is like a big fence in the middle of America where all the white trash blows up against. And they're so far behind with EVERYTHING! You can't even get AIDS there yet.
AIDS, now thats some nasty shit. Hope I don't get THAT again. I hate it when my AIDS acts up. I always know when it's going to rain. AIDS usually starts out with a severe pounding sensation in your ass.
I REALLY wanna be a porno star. Sometimes you can tell, like when I'm finished pumping gas, I always pull out, and spray gas all over the car.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:



MY HUMMER IS MY HERO.

"Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul. "

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. "

"Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves? "

"Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual. "

"The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions. "

My Blog

Check out this video: Stand up comedy MATT ERICKSON THANKS FOR SPEEDING.com

Check out this video: Stand up comedy MATT ERICKSON THANKS FOR SPEEDING.com Add to My Profile | More Videos
Posted by on Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:51:00 GMT

Matt Erickson, a comic genius.

Thanks For Speeding Thats my wacky new website. Http://www.ThanksForSpeeding.com Catchy, huh?
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:20:00 GMT

premature ejaculation

Premature for WHO?! It was never too soon for me. Thanks For Speeding. Http://www.thanksforspeeding.com  
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:19:00 GMT

I was at Target, and this chick was walking out of the feminine hygene section...

...she gave me her number and I said, "thanks. I'll call you..in 7-10 days." Thanks For Speeding. Http://www.thanksforspeeding.com
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:19:00 GMT

i like florida. it’s shaped just like a penis...

Especially the way the Keys blow their load all over Cuba. It's the only State with it's own money shot. Thanks For Speeding. Http://www.ThanksForSpeeding.com Matt Erickson
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:18:00 GMT

Me at the grocery store

When checking out at the grocery store, I always ask the checker, "do you think I have enough toilet paper for the amount of groceries I have purchased?"Shop smart. MatthewThanks for speeding!
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:17:00 GMT

sex with animals

I saw a website that had a bunch of people having sex with animals. That's so gross. Because when you have sex with an animal, you're not just having sex with that one animal...Matthew EricksonThanks ...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:16:00 GMT

my take on marriage, from the words of a craigslister

 "I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl," wrote a poster who called herself an "enterprising young woman." "I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a mill...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:15:00 GMT