My name is Stephanie, but creepy men in bars like to call me Goldylocks. I go to U.Va. and love the shit out of it but also kick around in old Killington Hellaware whenever I get the chance. My best friend is my crazy cousin Amy who is an exaggeration of me and a caricature of herself. I have a fabulous roommate named Maggie from Wisco who looks like she could milk cows but regularly claims to choke bitches. I also have a friend named Deepa (Creepa) who is so ghetto that she turns up the bass when she plays Incubus in her car. My sister is a big nerd wrapped in a tiny hot blond girl's body wrapped in frog leisurewear. My little brother is huge and his voice sounds like Frank the Tank after he shot himself in the neck with a tranquilizer. I get extremely egotistical when I'm drunk and tell people that I'm always right. Which I am. I'll eat anything if you put hot sauce on it. Techno music to me is like the bad friend who makes you come out when you have a paper due the next day; I can't hear it and not end up shitfaced and double fist-pumping in a frat basement. I enjoy awarding life points to people for things that would normally be frowned upon by society. I also like listening/dancing to excessively flamboyant music and my closet kind of looks like the Village People threw up in it. I've been Catwoman 3 times for Halloween, and I think that says something about me. Halloween is my national holiday and I usually know what I'm going to be by about March. I like drinking in the daytime for events such as barbecues, football games, horse races, outdoor concerts, or any other activity that warrants some afternoon delight. I love telling stories and I'll excuse any bad decision if it produces a good story for Never Have I Ever.
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Which Silver Screen Siren are you?
Jean Harlow
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