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After 21 years on this earth I realize who I am.It's funny when you grow up in christian schools because you learn a lot. Not all of it is good. I learned to judge other people. I thought I was better because I was more knowledgable about God. I soon realized that I knew nothing... and on september 28th, 2003 I finally gave my life to God.Alot of things happened between there and now... a lot of things changed. I left the church at the age of 17 and decided to pursue who I thought I was again. Began to smoke, drink, do drugs, and party. I turned my life into the thing that I once judged. I was broken, beaten, and disgusted with myself. I tried to bring everyone down with me, friends, family, and my old church. I guess it was the only thing that made me feel human at the time.Not many people know what it feels like to truly be numb to everything and everyone... but to those that have been there, they know just how I felt. There seems to be no way out but further down and I guess I just accepted it one day and continued in my life of hate of others and more horribly... hate of myself. I didn't even like looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I was ashamed to exist... ashamed to feel... ashamed to be loved. Broken was the word that described my life and broken is what I accepted.In may of 2007 I encountered God again. I cried. That was all I could do. To quote my pastor on the message that changed my life... "Unbelief is Israel, getting manna from heaven, quail from the sky, water from a rock and they still said 'we'd rather go back to egypt...' when God has been so good to you and you can still say 'God I choose not'"This is your life? Are you who you want to be?God has changed me and continues to change me. Christianity is not behavior modification and if it is for you then you have not met God. I have met with the King and tasted his amazing glory. I have tasted and seen that He is good. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. With God before me who can be against me. He is my rock, my shelter, my God in whom I trust, surely he will save me. I was pressed back and about to fall BUT GOD pulled me out. He rescued me... He saved me... And on the inside I am changing... and with the inside the outside is starting to change. I can now hug people. That sounds ridiculous, but you don't understand what I've been through. Because of the things that have happened in my life it has been very hard for me to accept love, but God has changed that.I have been through hell. I've seen people fall... I have fallen, but I got back up, picked up my sword, and am fighting.On June 13th, 2007 God called me to preach. It was the most amazing thing He has ever spoken to me and He is keeping His promise.So... take a long hard look at your life. Are you just going through the motions? Or is God impacting you...I'm 21 years old now, and I know who I am. I am a child of the King.