Right! about the British Empire well... the rainy season is from the 4th century AD and has um... carried on ever since. We have strong prevailing south westerdly winds, 52% of our days are overcast so as a nation we are fused with a whistful melancoly. But we remain a relentlessly chipper population prone to mild excentricity, binge drinking and casual violence. Breakfast is served 7 till 9, NOT A MINUTE LATER! OR YOU WILL BE CAST OUT!
We have no natural predators, although a badger will give you a nasty nip, four hedgehogs feeding on honey might fall on your eyes! or a whasp could fly in your mouth on a summers afternoon, sting your botom lip, which swells right up, you try to phone up work; making a 'ergh, ergh!' sound, she thinks your a pervert, you get arested, get sent to a secret Mars pinile collony! but in time gain the support of the workers and eventualy throw off the shackles of repression!
...and on the upside, we've got little chefs! which were built many years ago on lay lines, and then the roads just came along and connected them all up. There's alot of positive energy in the tea cakes...
And if it all goes horribly wrong we've always got Argos...with 'the laminated book of dreams'... to catch the tears of joy!
Our crops are um... peas, cabbage, sunny delight, spam, woffles, shortbread, marmite... um I dunno... But we won't have any Geneticaly modified food! NO GM! oh no...or Euros!!
And the religion is... um well that's a tricky one...well its 72% christian, there's hidduism, muslimism, buddisim, quite a few others... but as a community we're very seculised, so when pushed most people will simply write, 'Jedi'...
Some British inovations, inventions and discoveries:
Radio, Electric Light Bulb, Powered flight, The Guillotine, Telephone, Motor car, Jet propulsion, America, Photography, The submarine, Jam, Gas Mask, Sean Connory, Penicillin, Fax Machine, Ducks, Electromagnet, Lawn mower, Locomotive, Dew-point Hygrometer, Powerloom, God, Penny Farthing, Polyester, Stethiscope, Periscope, Radar, Rubber bands, Toilet paper, Umbrella, Vacume cleaner, The Beatles,
Waterproof fabric, the Dictionary, Civilised conversation, the Moon, Crosswords, Computers, Depth Charges, Corkscrews, Cats-eyes, Tin can, Disc brakes, Anemometer, Holography, Mousetrap, Period Table, Shrapnel, Steam Engine, Steel Production, Viagra, World Wide Web...
The British Empire was the largest empire in history and for a time was the foremost global power. It was a product of the European age of discovery, which began with the maritime explorations of the 15th century, that sparked the era of the European colonial empires.
By 1921, the British Empire held sway over a population of about 458 million people, approximately one-quarter of the world's population. It covered about 36.6 million km² (14.2 million square miles), about a quarter of Earth's total land area. As a result, its legacy is widespread, in legal and governmental systems, economic practice, militarily, educational systems, sports, and in the global spread of the English language. At the peak of its power, it was often said that "the sun never sets on the British Empire" because its span across the globe ensured that the sun was always shining on at least one of its numerous colonies or subject nations.
During the five decades following World War II, most of the territories of the Empire became independent. Many went on to join the Commonwealth of Nations, a free association of independent states.
