Dirk profile picture

Dirk

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm here to bring hope to the hopeless. Joy to the joyless. Pants to the pantsless. Savory cream sauces to the savory cream sauceless. And also, I'd like to meet people who are into fucking.

My Interests

Chain gangs, ennui, spicy chicken dishes, nakedness, emotional torment, grapes, karaoke, stilted porn dialouge, government issued shoes, brisk walks, waiting tables for Israeli businessmen, signed Yes album covers, dirty knock-knock jokes, the smells of autumn, crying Irishmen, candleabras, soup made from fruit, the romance novels of Stephen King, homosexual overtones in cartoons, nice girls who finish last, saran wrapped meats, tarragon, thinking about what jesus would do in certain morally ambiguous situations

I'd like to meet:

Must not be so quick with the restraining orders or the pepper spray. I'm just a guy who likes to hug. Of course, I probably shouldn't try to give said hugs while shrieking maniacly and running at a full sprint.

Music:

interminable drum solos, electric tamborine, welsh rap, inner city flautests, Django Reinhart, what became of the Bay City Rollers, harmonica-infused drum and base, synthesized librettos, xylophone-playing frontmen, nude bass players with attitude

Movies:

Any and all. Except for that one movie about the freaks. Remember, it had all these circus freaks in it playing actual circus freaks. It was in black and white. What was it called... Oh yeah, Three Men and a Little Lady.

Books:

I mostly read Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan fiction, sci-fi westerns and anything by Jane Austen.

My Blog

Dear Diary, Vol. 1

Hooray!!! I gots a diary!!! HOORAY!!! I'm gonna call it Steven!!! Also, my social studies teacher, Mr. Norbert, likes me to rub chalk dust on his ass and yell at his penis. Hee hee hee, he's so fu...
Posted by Dirk on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST