About Me
Let me start.......by saying.......Welcome to the Land of Blue Light, my name is Joe. I am a carpenter and this is my brother John. I was born on the 27th day of the 9th month of the 72nd year of the 1900's. Yes, I am a Libran. Lets start at the beginning. At one I was one years old. Life was good then. At 2 I was 2 years old. And at 3, we moved to a humble abode at the outskirts of humanity. Age 4 was uneventful. At 5 I started writing hiakus' and at 6, after several failed attempts to be published, I became addicted to Flintstone Vitamins. After many years of attempting to purge my body of the painful addiction, I found Salvation in a 12 year old Swedish Zoroastrian named Shaquanda Lickenstein. At 9, after a horrible break up I found the strength to write again, but this time in the form of Japanese Calligraphy. After realizing that I couldn't read or write Japanese I moved on to Polish Folk Dancing. And after a last place finish on Star Search I decided to get my own apartment with my new found fame and fortune. By the time I was 11 I had moved back in with my parents, I had discovered that this world is unforgiving. I wrote my first novel when I was 13, about a young man and his pet rock. At 14 I started a band with the intent of reviving Polka Disco. However, after an incident in which two band members were killed in a tragic bicycle accident, I became distant to a world that couldn't understand the true beauty of Polka Disco. At 15 tragedy strikes again with the untimely demise of my pet rock. And although my parents had good intentions, no other rock could ever take the place of my beloved Mr.Pumice. At 17 I had caught the eye of a 21 year old, crack addicted, transgendered hooker who introduced me to salsa dancing. Although I was rather fond of it/her, I was not prepared to again experience the feelings I had once had for Mr.Pumice. At 18, I was 18 years old and attempted to use my MENSA intellect for the greater good of mankind. Again after several failed attempts to improve the quality of people's lives, including my failed vaginal "lip"-stick line- "Smile, it looks pretty on you", I decided to get a job at Frank's Nursery. Deciding that 2 years talking to plants was enough, I quit, got into bondage, and was hired into the steel industry. At age 25 I came to the conclusion that it was time to venture out on my own and found a place to stay. A quiet 2-bedroom place where I discovered finger painting and tantric sex. Several years later, after being a sex instructor, a lovely young dark haired woman with a love for long walks and a fetish for hot oatmeal in leather, stole my heart. A few years later we were married and we now continue to live happily ever after............
