About Me
After the cover versions, the emo-core, the ass licking, the video clip with no substance and the paid critic, the business that is the most prosperous in the stinky swamp of pop music is the rumor industry. This is not something new. The rumors were always as important to rock and roll as Fenders, Gibsons and Rickenbackers to Dick Dale, Alvin Lee and Roger Mcguinn. As the heavy sequential scandals to Gary Glitter, Suzy Quatro and Joan Jett. As the synthesizers to Keith Emerson, Rick Wakeman and Ralph Mace. As the heroine to Johnny Winter, Ray Charles and Keith Richards. As androgyny to Little Richard, Marc Bolan and Brian Molko. In short, rumor is one of the engines that moves pop music. Maybe the most important one, being the death of Paul McCartney in 1966, registered and recorded backwards, at the end of Revolver. It's well known, that Sir Macca is very much alive, getting married and being sued by women with difficulties in their walking. A lot was said about Elvis being seen in Graceland after august 1977. They talked about Bon Scott's phantasmagoric apparition in the film set of Mad Max 2, about Keith Moon haunting Budgie on a recent Siouxsie's tour, about Sid Vicious creating a violoncello conservatory in Kathmandu etc etc etc. Rumors are produced in the same speed as Simple Plan, Maroon 5 and Linkin Park disseminate their tasteless music to the ears of the white teenagers in the world. The black ears are damaged by the genital speech of rappers that escaped from the death penalty. Rest in peace Otis Redding, Jimi Hendrix and James Brown. The most recent rumor is about Jungle George. For those who take what is read by the MTV’s VJs seriously, Jungle is another obscure character like Screaming Lord Sutch, Andy Paley and Bill Carter. Obscure is not a good enough word to describe Jungle George. Mysterious, that is. There is a number of rumors on this guitarist whom disconnected himself temporarily from his band in LA, to join the Australian pop group The Veronicas, just like The Shadows did as a backing band for Cliff Richard, or The Beatles with Tony Sheridan, Mick Ronson in Bob Dylan's group, Billy Corgan in New Orders' world tour and Robert Smith when he momentously took a break from the Cure, in 1983, to go record Nocture and Hyena, as a mere Banshee. Jungle George is directly responsible for one of the most important tributes to British punk rock: Greatest Shits, this being considered superior than Learning English, Lesson One, by Die Toten Hosen. Apart from this obvious contribution to the culture of the western world, Jungle remains the hermetic type. Starting by his age, even tough he appears to be 26 years old, relatives and genetic authorities hired for this purpose, have said that George was Link Wray's older brother. Friends also offered themselves to testify to the Supreme Court Justice that Jungle is another victim of the secret CIA program, MK Ultra, celebrated in Sonny Vincent's classic from Shotgun Rationale. Financed by the Pentagon in the sixties, this clandestine scientific program submit their unaware candidates to an involuntary diet of lysergic acid. The same rumor also says that the experiment that Jungle was a part of, was a variation based on the homeopathic application of a substance that combined the active elements of silicone and botox. On the other hand, there's this other group, that swears that Jungle George wouldn't be older than 13 years old, and suffers from a disease known in the world of plastic surgery as the David Cassidy's Reverse Syndrome. Producers from the Disney Channel have reported an odd incident involving Jungle George that creates another question mark over this intriguing rock and roll figure. Not too long ago, Jungle got a proposition to write a song for Hanna Montana. To the amusement of the producers, used to the never ending deadlines of celebrities like Danny Elfman and Mark Mothersbaugh, Jungle called back 2 days later, saying that he had the song ready. Happy with the good news, they scheduled a listening session on the following day. Right on time, Jungle George showed up with a CD in his hands. The producers once more would be shocked, since they were expecting something in the style of High School Musical, but instead, they heard for the first time, the 90 initial seconds of ‘Sitting In A Cell’ by The Cockney Rejects. Ironically, these lost rumors have contributed to Jungle George's career, who not only officially married The Veronicas, but also maintains an extra-conjugal case with The Sexcassettes. For 2008 Jungle promises new things, one of them being the first Power Pope album, with at least 11 songs, which 10 are already written. The 11th song would be a version of Chicory Tips’ classic, ‘Son Of My Father’. They say that Giorgio Moroder himself will play the solo with his Moog. But, so far, all of this is nothing but speculation. Rumors.
