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Believe, She Said...

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I like White men. There...I said it. Sue me, why don't you? My best friend is Ashley. Do something to her and I may have to ask God for forgiveness for 1st degree murder. I dream of being in the government, so watch out, baddies! Want to get to know me? COME ON! I enjoy a challenge.
If you ever hear me say something about Aiyoris, she's a character I made up for a story of mine. She's really just me put in story form with overexaggerated emotions...and half vampire, but you know...Her full name is Aiyoris Venii Chienall Aaklinan which means "Lady of darkened flowers and ghostly whispers".

Give me a pink stuffed bear with hearts all over it that sings and dances and I may rip your arm off and beat you with it. You think love is real, like what's on tv, but you're wrong. I have found true love and it isn't at all how I expected it. Love is a dangerous thing. It can kill; you will die a most painful, agonizing death. It can resurrect the dead; my undead heart is beating again. So be careful how you use it. I have seen both death and resurrection; love lightly.

I'm not your average black girl (as you can tell by just looking at my page), but then again, what's average anyway? I have issues with my faith and I need extra help to keep me on track. My Message Bible is probably the one thing that helps me be a better servant of God. I LOVE THAT BIBLE! I wish I was as deeply into my faith as others are, but sometimes life gets in the way and I'm easily swayed. If you want to help me out, I'd appreciate it! I can stand on the Word of God, but sometimes my legs wobble and I fall off. I really want to be stronger. I've been in the church all my life. I'm tired of church; I want an experience...
The People That Keep Me Grounded...
Jesse: 2 years knowing him and never thought he'd become my boyfriend. How we missed the signs that we were meants for each other, I don't know, but thank goodness we figured it out! I've had 3 boyfriends in my whole life. I believe that he will be the last.
David: I have known this man for almost 4 years now! Wow, time flies! He's the light in my dark and mysterious world. Whenever I'm down, he's always there to pick me up...literally! He accepts me for who I am and I don't have to be afraid to tell him anything, even if it might come as a shock.
Ashley: I swear me and this child were separated at birth! She's my bestest best best friend in the universe! We can even finish each others thoughts. It's creepy! I can't even remember my sad and lonely life before I met her. She's also my common sense when I'm not thinking straight.
Sapphire: This woman is nuts! She's my black half. I can't dance, rap, or shank anyone, but she's the one that says, "I know. I know. I'll do it for you." Straight from New Orleans, she's the spice in my life with a side of gumbo.


Origins of Modern Gothic Culture

Goth is actually much more than the sum of its parts, and, depending on who you ask, you can get a bewildering array of contradictory answers, many of which are valid parts of a much larger subculture. It is more than a label or description. Goth is at once a lifestyle and a philosophy that has its roots firmly embedded both in the historical past and the present.

The central Ideal that characterizes Goth is an almost compulsive drive towards creativity and self-expression that seeks to reach out and ensnare its audience using our current society's covert but deeply rooted fascination with all things dark and frightening. This act can be either subtle and seducing or nightmarishly terrifying, but it must play on what society secretly knows but can not acknowledge to itself about its duality. The mediums of self-expression and creation can be anything from a mode of dress to novels or music. Imagination and originality have always been key elements in Goth.

As a lifestyle, Goth is as diversified as its adherents. There really is no true unifying stereotype or dress code as it were. Not all Goths are depressed, nor do they all wear black, listen to the same music, or employ the same modes of self-expression. This tends to make Goth-spotting a little tricky and creates part of the tangled confusion over what it is to begin with, but this diversity also is one of the defining factors.

So how does one identify a real Goth if they are all so different? Now we reach part of the heart of the counterculture! You see, as mentioned earlier, one of Goth's defining characteristics is the need to take the underlying darkness that is in all of us and bring it into the light in such a way as we can recognize it as what it is-an integral part of all of us, for better or for worse.
To better understand what Goth really is, it is essential to know where it came from. It has been with us for much longer than the label we have given it. This is a subculture that has appeared, flourished, then died, only to rise again in many eras and in many societies. Its adherents have always been the young intellegensia, frustrated and bored by the parent culture. The parent cultures were usually restrictive, highly stratified into rigid caste structures, and intolerant of diversity in schools of art and thought. Because of this, nearly every manifestation of this particular type of counter-culture was greeted with suspicion, hostility, and sometimes active aggression on the part of its parent culture. Only rarely was this brand of subculture welcomed and allowed to flourish, as it was during the Italian Renaissance.

Goth, as we currently know it, has its roots in Western Europe and North America during the late seventies and early eighties. The counterculture was, and still is, dominated by dissatisfied youth hailing from the middle classes, which were at that time just entering a new period of prosperous stability. The children of these newly wealthy were left, unlike their parents, with a strong feeling of instability and lack of identity. They were unable to reconcile the new values their society was trying to impress upon them with their newly fragile sense of self. The tightening lines of social restructure were separating them from their accustomed peers in both the upper and lower classes.

----Taken from http://www.fehq.org/public/gothsec.htmCHRISTIAN GOTH

IT'S REAL. I AM ONE.

*Goth encourages us to accept people for who they are.
*Goth inspires awe and wonder.
*Gothic culture is much older than the modern Goth underground movement. If you look for it, you will find it everywhere—reflected, perhaps, in the church building you worship in.
*Goth can open our eyes to the beauty in sorrow or the elegance in darkness.
*A close association with the darker side of life will increase one's appreciation for the light of God, the way eating a strict diet will increase one's sensory experience of food. It will heighten sensitivity; it will make one more aware not less. In short, it will increase sensitivity and awareness of the spirit world.
*Goths have a different perception of beauty than mainstream culture does: different, not better nor worse.
*Gothic beauty invokes awe. It puts us in touch with the magnificence of God, His utter transcendence and the limitless depths of our own supernatural, eternal existence.
*Goth reminds the mainstream that there is more to life than the material and we are more than material beings.
*Goth reminds us to be outraged at oppression and hatred.
*Goth encourages everyone to come out from behind the mask and let Him {Jesus} mature His unique expression in each person.
*God calls His remnant from every culture and subculture and wants that remnant to faithfully represent Him to their culture.
*Goth is a counter-cultural movement. In many ways, Jesus was counter-culture. He swam against the mainstream and was persecuted for it.
-----Taken from http://www.gothicchristianity.com/writings/nonfict/non_chris begoth.html
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Jesus!

Lacuna Coil!

Bullet For My Valentine

Ben Burnley!

Adam Gontier!

Apocalyptica!

HIM!

And, of course, my heroines.

My Blog

Walls Fall pt. 1 - "The Escape"

         "But Aiyoris," they always tell me, "you must find a lover.  An empress is not complete without one, you know."  I always look them squ...
Posted by on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:31:00 GMT

Theres Nothing More

THERE'S NOTHING MORE I'D RATHER DO THAN ERASE WHAT I THINK OF YOU NO MORE PERFECTION THAT I NEED NO MORE CRYING, NO MORE SCREAMS I KEEP TRYING TO LET GO, BUT THERE'S ONE THING THAT I KNOW IF I GO ON W...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 19:43:00 GMT

Untitled Poem

What would I do to make you understand? What could I be to make you hold my hand? What could I say so you could see what I've become Because you aren't near me and I can't be alone. What should I do i...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 19:20:00 GMT

Falling Apart and Liking It

You are so used to being depressed that once you aren't anymore, you don't know what to do. Well, that's what's going on with me. I'm falling apart and liking it, but it's so weird. I'm so used to cry...
Posted by on Sat, 12 Jan 2008 13:13:00 GMT

Romeo and Juliet

Ok, so I just reread R&J and I have come to the conclusion that they were probably emo. I've had my share of "I love you but can't have you so I'd rather die" moments, but actually going through w...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Dec 2007 08:41:00 GMT