When we seem to believe that we are down and out, is when a ray of hope appears in our way. I know because I've been there. I grew up in Carolina, Puerto Rico, being raised by a single mother. My father left me when I was 8 years old. Growing up, I was constantly picked on in school. When my father appeared in the picture, I was already 18 years of age. He was already living in the States, so he sent me a ticket and I moved here in 1995. A year later, he dies in my arms, thanks to the AIDS virus(A man reaps what he sows, I guess-Galatians 6:7). I thought my life would be better now being an adult, but new problems occured to me. I had a lot of anger I didn't know how to control. My self esteem was in the crapper, and I thought I had to settle for scraps, when God had better things coming my way. I met my first wife in college, and held to her for dear life, although deep inside, I knew I was not inlove with her. I had a government job, and those who work in them, know the kind of stress and lack of interest there can be. After being married for 5 year, I went through a divorce. I also lost my job as well. Hell. I even saw when my 2003 Ford Mustang Convertible V8 got repoed by the lender. I even ballooned all the way up to 230 lbs while my height is no more than 5 foot 8 inches tall. I tried to find my niche since then. I tried acting, but did not think I was good enough. I tried singing, but people said I was toned deaf. I tried to be a professional wrestler, and after discovering the misshaps, I gave that up as well. I even tried the "Player" lifestyle, but I've always been a one woman man, and even so, my standards were really low, considering what I know about myself today. I even tried to kill myself once, and was taken to a ward for 24 hour surveillance. But something inside of me did not let me give up. It wasn't until I learned to love myself for who I truly am, and not what others might have wanted me to be, that I found my true happiness. Every day I thank God for his blessings, and his teachings. Although many of them have been tough, I have come out victorious. Finally, I found my passion. I've been working as an Accounting clerk for over 10 years, and something inside of me told me to give it a try. I enrolled in College again. Right now, my GPA is of 4.0. I thought my relationships with women were always going to be doomed. But it wasn't until I wrote down what was willing to tolerate and what not, that I stopped dating every skirt in my way, and focus on finding my better half. And after praying non-stop, the great God Almighty answered my plea, and sent Veronica to me. Boy, she has been a blessing in disguise. For about 3 years, I worked as an exotic dancer. I made decent money, but never knew how to invest. After considerable thought, calculating my expenses, now I can say that I am not "in the red" anymore. Through working as a stripper, I learned how to develop my people skills, and realized that I can actually get along with folks. I realized that women are not as complicated as people would like to believe. Believe me when I say this. They are tired of men treating them like objects and not like human beings. When they give themselves intimately, they do it for a reason, while men, many times we do it just to get our nuts wet, so to speak. You can't imagine the many times I finished performing at a bachelorrete party and women who would make Playboy Centerfolds look like soccermoms ask me if they were pretty. They felt like no one really cared about them. After considerable thought, and being tired of the game, I decided to hang up my boots for good. I decided to pursue my Bachellor's Degree in Accounting. I also made a promise that I would not repeat my mistakes in past relationships with Veronica. Be able to be a better father to my daughter Angel Isabel. And after 3 months unemployed, I finally got a job in the City, which I really like. They pay me well, and I am learning a lot of new tasks. I can say this time that things are not looking up, they are already up. I thank the Almighty everyday for teaching me how to love, respect, and believe in me. If you don't love yourself, there's no way in Hell you can love anyone else. That is a given fact. I would like to say that my life is problem free, but that's not the case. We all have issues in life. What we have to do is face them head on, and never EVER, back down. We can accomplish all things through the One who strengthens us every day (Phil.4:13). I also believed, since I had problems with my co-workers, family members, and surroundings, that my life was cursed. I discovered that the way some people might've felt about me, is not always my fault. If they don't want to give me a chance, it's their loss. But I also have to realize that we are all different, and so being, I have to respect people's opinions, and lifestyles. By doing that, my relationship with people has improved to a complete 180. I know this is a lot for me to say, but I hope my testimony can be of help to many of you out there that feel unwanted, unappreciated, or just plain lonely. Jesus himself went through so many misshaps, and now His Name is above all names. We need to believe that we are special. That is why The Almighty made us, and for that matter, I know that I am worth more than I can possibly imagine. I would encourage you to seek Him. He is more than willing to listen to your plea. Accept Him as Lord and Ruler of your life. If He doesn't keep watch of your hosehold, your efforts will become a waste of time (Psalms 127.1). And most of all, learn to love , respect, and appreciate yourself. By doing so, others will do as well. If you would like for me to keep you in my prayers' log-which I am starting to create-feel free to give me a call anytime at (510)276-6306 or (510)305-5021. I really want you to be happy just as I am. Remember that I love each and everyone of you, but most important, He loves us the most. (John 3:16) Peace be with you.
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