I'm a washed up starting pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. I haven't been able to throw shit since I came to this shithole they call the windy city. The fans do nothing but boo me but who the hell are they to criticize. None of those assholes in the stands even work. But the worst game I ever played in my life was when I gave up a home run and a smart ass twelve year old punk named Henry Rowengartner threw a 90 mph fast ball to the catcher from the bleaches. That little prick ended up steeling my spot in the rotation and making me look like an even bigger dusch. The one positive thing that came from the situation was that I got to bang his mom.
