I Am Not A Machine

My name is Bryant
I'm 24
Single
I live in San Diego
I am a Graphic Designer & I love creating Merch for bands
I have two AA's, One in transfer studies, and the other in multimedia design
I am currently going to SDSU
Some of my goals are to create album covers for one of my favorite bands, learn to tattoo, & open my own design company
I started a t shirt company called Bleeding Ink
I wrote a novel called This is me! The True Spirit of American Youth which can be found on amazon
I love music & i enjoy going to concerts
I like hanging out with my close friends
I take comfort in writing poetry
I draw when ever i can
I'm not a fan of talking on the phone so if i call you, just know i enjoy your company
I like meeting new people
I enjoy being at home just as much as going out
I try to hard to be what everyone else wants of me
I can be a little goofy
I tend to over think
I don't like fake people
I believe i can be very funny (you can decide)
But I can also be Sirius and down to earth
I have been known to enjoy long walks on the beach lol :p
Hit me up on AIM at- Metallic2040
follow IamNotaMachine at http://twitter.com
Poems I've wrote:
Inherit The Imperishable-
This depression sets in late into the night
As I sit affixed to my chair
This room feels like my grave
Cold wet and stale
I could scream and no one would know
Tomorrow brings with it pain
The pain of seeing another day lost
To the path of the marching arms
Of the clocks as they tick tock
Farther and farther away
Each and every moment spent
Thinking and dwelling caries the weight
Of our bodies decay
Life is but a quest
One in which we all will lose
Unless you inherit the imperishable
Into your heart of hearts
Hold me close tonight
And pray for my soul
Hold me close tonight
And don’t let go
ohh brother my brother-
ooh brother my only brother
Your eyes are all but glazed
the light from your face
is in a smoky purple haze
ooh brother my brother
why don't you have another
pop a pill and have a seat with me
ooh brother my one and only brother
have a drink and keep your
motor running clean
ooh brother my brother
my one and only savior
hold me back from the pain
save me from my rage
hold me back from the pain
oh brother my brother
your face is red and cut across the chin
and the light is burning thin
the bloods across the floor
ooh brother my one and only brother
take everything you need to stay alive
take all you need to stay inside
take everything you hoped and dreamed
ooh brother my brother
hold me when you scream
save me from the dreams
hold me when you scream
My brother my one and only brother
I will love you forever
Our hearts connected
together forever through eternity
ooh brother my only brother
will god ever forgive you
for what you have done
I know i have, i know i will
in everyone of my dreams
ooh brother my brother
hold me when you scream
hold me when you scream
just hold onto me
(through all your bad dreams)
I need someone-
I am so tired
I am so fucking tired
Of all this at hand
Of all this in my hands
I feel like breaking glass
With my own two hands
My teeth cut through my gums
And bleed out my love
That I hold to dear to my heart
I give it away
I gave it away
I think I need help today
Not just today but each and everyday
I cant seem to find the one
I keep feeling like I jump the gun
And fall
I am so tired of this hole
I keep cutting out my veins
I keep cutting out this heart
And I leave it to the one with it all
The girl with out a worrying mind
The one who doesnt even notice my kind!
I will illuminate up this road
With flowers, red and gold
Again I will place my heart in hand
So that she will notice me again
No she just walks on by!
Shes gasping for breath, choking on her spit
It kills her to see me like this
I know she cares
It kills her to see me like this
I know she cares
Why wont she just stop and push it back
So that I can breath
And feel the air through my veins
Why wont she stop?
My torment
My horror
My plight
I need something
To brace my fall
I need something
Anyone at all
My name!-
Your voice speaks volumes
As you hold this vice
Over my heart, Tonight
Cold air blows
Down my door
Soon the blood will dry
In a puddle below my bed
Although today is over
Tomorrow will never end
Always marching forward
This relentless storm
Of broken hearts
Will burn me down
I hope it burns me down
So that this arson
Of a friend
Could see my body
Left cut and blinded
From the words
She said
From the thoughts
That echo through this head
And the tears which fall
Can't displace her mistake
She won't forget
She won't forget
My name
I am her thoughts
Of what could have
Transpired
I am her heart
Cracked and torn from within
She franticly searches
For a man like her father
But I won't be her man in armor
I won't be her former lover
What she needs is a tourniquet
For this bleeding
But she must find someone
Else instead, to provide pressure
To her broken chest
Oh she won't forget
All that I have said
All that I am
I could have been
Something to remember
Someone she could have
Never surrendered
She won't ever forget
That which could have been
She won't forget
She won't forget
That is if she ever
Remembered
My name
Underoath-
I hate having to pretend to care
About anything you have to say
Loneliness is where Ill stay
Friendships, who needs them
Sympathy is where its at
Hold my hand
Lets all laugh
At what I have to say
Loneliness is why i'm sad
I cant seem to pull myself out
Of this depression at hand
This ship is sinking
My skin is leaking
Across your floor
As I sit all alone
Again tonight
I dont like to fake it
I dont care to take it
Your friendship
Your hand
Your advice
Listening is at is end
I cant act like I care
Anymore then you actually do
Youre always waiting to speak
And to be spoken to
On The Edge of Tomorrow-
I seem to find myself
At the cross roads tonight
A place where Im lost on
Where to go
I seem to find a way out
Through focus and self-esteem
Anyway
Today I felt lethargic again
Lost and feeling bruised within
These thoughts never seem to fail
A burden burning down my hills
Crossing over the many bridges
Built for you and I
Slowly they crumble
Down from under
Underneath our feet
This feeling of weightlessness
Makes me sick tonight
I seem to find myself
At a loss for words
A place I hate getting too
A place I would hate to live
A place I wouldn't want to visit
Ever again
So I fall down through the water
I can feel this current
Pulling me under
Or was that you
Holding my head down
To keep yourself afloat
Who knows anyway?
This fire cant take me home
So I guess water is a new
Beginning in a world
Coming down around me
All though I cant breathe
With you hovering over me
I can see your smile
Slowly we will hit the edge of tomorrow
And I will find myself getting out of the water
I just hope never to see that place again
I just hope never to see your face again
For I speak the truth tonight
I hold no punches
For my soul burns of vengeance
For my soul burns of vengeance
For what you have done to me
Nothing without your love
My body aches
Over this
And now
As these tears fall
They feed the fire
Within my heart
These feelings
I did not start
Slowly it plagues
My heart
Over and over again
These feelings
These thoughts
I cannot comprehend
Slowly it plagues
My heart
Over and over again
I can see you kiss him
Over and over again
I replay it all, in my head
Everything from the start
And oh how these
Feelings bleed my heart
Cut me slow
So I will know
Your pain
Which I gave to you
Cut me slow
So I will know
The pain I caused you
Over and over again
I can't stop repeating it
Through my head
These words I said
These feelings
Where better off dead
Before your eyes
Before your eyes
And now I can see
That I gave up everything
To hold close the night
Empty as in light
My heart will forever be
Cold like a stone
Nothing without you
In my arms
I am nothing without
Your love
walk the dark road
Turn your back to the light
As you walk the path alone at night
Dont look back for help from me
This is your right of passage
I am just the messenger
A man of action
Tomorrow summer will be here
And the light will stay high in the sky
But dont walk away from me
Again
But dont walk away from me
Again
So turn your back on summers light
And the smell left from the roses
Red and bright
For the end of all is soon
And your going away really soon
Walking the path alone is all we can do
For the light will blinded this young mans heart
For the light has killed my heart
Turn your back tonight
Turn your head away
And walk the dark road
Alone
Burn in sin (Good bye my old friends)-
I would like to say good-bye
To my dark shadow
The one, which would fallow me
To the grave if I let her
But I wont and I will not stand
Quietly still through the night
You cant hold me down any longer.
You have changed and I am still the same
I will forever take comfort in knowing your demise
I will always look back and shake my head
Looking back I see I dont know
The person you have become
I dont know the women I see before me today
So I will bid you adue
In hopes your dreams will fall
In hopes your feelings will be crushed
Underneath the tracks of lies
In which you placed across my heart
For as much as I cared about you before
I hope you burn in sin
Good bye my old friends
Excerpt From the novel I wrote entitled
THIS IS ME
The True Sprit of American Youth
Click here to buy it!
When the smoke started to clear and the months passed us by she and I still talked and tried to remain friends but her remorse and anger about the break up wasn’t far behind any conversation we had. Things had changed, Jessica started to date another guy, one of her ex’s from years past, and yet we still had sparks as we talked at times. I loved her when she was happy and smiling, I loved the way she could make me feel good in the darkest of moments, then again at the same time I had hurt her so deeply. She now liked to tease me with thoughts of what I would never have with her again. I was left again with thoughts of regret for I had traded in my one true love for lust and change. Lust, greed, and vengeance are the words that can condemn even the holiest of souls.
Bleeding Ink Clothing
Shirts:
The Rose-
Skull Flower-
Cloudy Day-
Heart Flower-
More to come!
Paintings by Bryant Wieczorek
Check Out more in the Photos section