Hi,my name is Colleen I am 40 something, and happily married...I am a spirit filled,tongue talking believer..I am married to a wonderful man, sent to me from God...I was a lesbian for around 20 years..I have not been in the lesbian lifestyle for over 12 years now..I have been married to awesome man for 3 1/2 years..I was completely gay though, never bi-sexual..but I had conflicts inside myself that led me to believe,that this lifestyle was not for me..I was raised christian ,so I knew what the Bible say's about this,but I found myself helpless to change my feelings toward woman.... During this ,my mom loved me unconditionally. My issue's with my Dad made me think I never would want a man at all .. I never felt any physical attraction to men ,only literal repulsion..My Mom let me make my own choices,yet when I did ..I found,I was happy..at first..then the reality of this life sunk in and misery followed me..I felt guilty all the time ..yet..I knew no other way ,than to go with the way, I thought I was..Gay..I kept asking God to change me. I wasn't unhappy in the fact that I always got together with great girls and each one for at least 5 years..2 of my ex's are free today as well as me.. I went to no ex-gay ministrys for help//There were hardly any available then..I directly sought Jesus himself...He led me to go to Bible Training center in Oklahoma...I had seen a woman's tumor healed right before my eyes, in Bible Healing School and I told the Lord..If you can heal her like that,then you can HEAL me,my orientation ..and If You do ,I will serve you for the rest of my life..I also told Jesus... I don't want to struggle with this... I want complete deliverance...As I had heard of people saying they were free,, and falling back into it..There's a scripture that says...."Be it unto you according to your faith"..I had faith that He, Jesus..could do this...and..He did..I was transformed ,in my thoughts..I stopped dreaming ,thinking ,gay..My focus became a deep friendship with Christ..This went on for 8 years of celebacy and then ..God created a desire to for my husband (which I know was from God) !! He supernaturally sent me my husband..BY Fate it seemed =(Spirit led)as it was..We were even saved, on the same day!!!!..yet cities apart..My husband ,Mike, was at the Billy Graham crusade ..He was 13 at the crusade..I was 7 years old, watching it on tv ..We both accepted Christ that night..!!! We have so much in common...No repulsion,intimacy is great in every way..I wish I could have been with Mike from the beginning..So I am just here to tell you humbly..God can do anything !!!!If you give HIM the chance..He has a purpose and destiny for you and it's far better than you can choose for yourself..There's a scripture that say's "I know the plans I have for you,for good and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope" but you have to come to Him to get these things..He has good things waiting for you.. Many of my friends in the lifestyle,are miserable,lonely,depressed..I am willing to talk and give answers or support to those who are sad in this lifestyle.I don't want to fight with people who are happy in it..Jesus loves and doesn't want us to fight..But those that are considering suicide or just really hoping for a way out..I would like to talk with you..I want to encourage you..that there is a different road to take..You are not born that way,I used to think so,but now I know that's a LIE from SATAN.. as I feel and think so opposite of my old lifestyle..Jesus really is real. He really can forgive ANYTHING we have done ..and give us a new chance at life..The devil comes to "kill, steal and destroy" John 10:10 but Jesus came to give abundant life" Many people decide to make God in their own image.They assume how God thinks about this issue..But that doesn't change what He say's about it...He is just,and His Word say's "no fornication outside marrige " Fornication is:any sex outside of marriage..1 Cor 6:7-9 "this include's Homosexuality.. Romans Chapter 1 talks about it as well. I used to beg for mercy all the time..yet to repent means to turn/360 go the other way..and without repentence no man will enter into heaven..The Bible/God is not being mean when He says don't be gay..I used to think that this was mean..(If God made me gay ,why then would He say don't be gay). That's a LIE from Satan..YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY>>> I now understand and know that as a Father ,tells his child don't run into the street as a protective measure,for His good..... so God as a loving Father is doing the same thing with this..He is trying to save us from consequences and heartache and separation from Him,that we experiance in this lifestyle. The Gay lifestyle, is not uplifting..Tons of jealousy ,I saw so much abuse,drugs,disease,loneliness ..Most of my male gay friends are now dead ,from aids..One of my dear frineds ,died while dancing ,taking poppers.He had a heart attack and died right on the dance floor..That was not fun seeing that....Satan wants to take you out, before you can find God,cause once your God's "no man can pluck you out of His hands" Now ,after many experiances... God's way makes sense.. God created you for a beautiful representation of His image...Not for abuse,neglect..obsessive behaviors..Psalm 139 Read It!!You are loved. Also I want to say that this is brought on by a demon..I didn't believe it myself ,a christian can be oppressed ,not possessed ,by demons..I was saved, yet could not stop being gay..I know that in order to be right with Christ ,I couldn't continue in this lifestyle..It cut me off from the presence of God..My mom said I think it's a demon.I got really mad at her/insulted. So mad I asked God ?? Is this a demon.?? I fell asleep and had a dream where I saw the demon.== a women with long hair,looked like a dead/zombie type ,coming out of a hole in the sand, in the desert..she was devouring all kinds of stuff and throwing it out of the hole..She was a representation of the gay demon coming after me..I looked into the hole and she reached to grab and take me down..I shouted "I rebuke you in Jesus name "..She dissappeared and Jesus came from behind ,and touched me on the shoulder.. I felt intense love from Him..He said you asked me to show you and I have..!! NOW.."go and sin no more"..when I woke I was covered in sweat ,I never sweat ..I knew it was HIm..That started my deliverance. From that moment on I knew I wasn't just thinging gay thoughts on my own ,but something had been driving them,and bringing them to my mind..The unclean spirit ..Jesus talks of the unclean spirit many times..When I began to know what I was fighting ,I then learned how to fight it.. With Jesus name/blood,, He has already defeated Satan for me,I just needed to recieve that.. As I satuated myself in God's word via the Bible, church, word of faith sermons on cassette tape, prayer, my mind became renewed ,changed by all this and the power of God's anointed Word..Satan now had no power over me and had to go.. to leave me..I now had control with Jesus help, over my choices ,and I started making right Godly choices.. Today,I have never been so happy and at peace,I have fellowship with Christ..I am so content,and happy being married..I really wish I had not made the choice to be gay in the first place,yet,If it helps you know there's hope than it was worth it..I hope this helps encourage someone today..sincerely Colleenp.s. Please read my blog on Faith..it's continued there!!!
