Legendary Hans - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hello potential Internet stalker! I am a native of Tennessee who enjoys playing guitars that are on fire. i was homeschooled from grade 2 onwards, which severely damaged my brainparts. I teach guitar lessons, and it is truly wonderful. I love drawing, painting, reading books, taxidermy, watching movies, and cool things. I have a girlfriend who i call Kate, and she's turbo awesome. I play guitar for an experimetal band called Human Fuse! It's kinda like Meshuggah and Killswitch Engage gave birth to a baby, and In Flames delivered it. Opeth cut the cord, then Mnemic put that silly little baby hat on it. Mastodon was also there to spank the baby. One more thing: If you're sending me a friend request, and i might not know who you are, please send me a message, too, especially if you're a fan of the band. Thanks!

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My Interests

Music, anything related to playing the guitar, drawing, painting, taxidermy, freestyle walking, reading, and movies.

I'd like to meet:

Steve Vai (again!), Joe Satriani, Leonardo DaVinci, Salvador Dali, Mattias IA Eklundh, Meshuggah, Mastodon (....again!), Opeth, Morgen Agren, people who like to set themselves on fire like i do, Les Claypool, Frank Zappa, and Solomon Alderman

Music:

Meshuggah. Mastodon. Opeth. Sikth. Dillinger Escape Plan. Misfits. Ramones. Torche. Black Sabbath. Necrophagist. The Faceless. Steve Vai. Johnny A. Squarepusher. Aphex Twin. Chemical Brothers. Whisky Kitten. Straight Line Stitch. Gojira.

Movies:

Buttcrack, The Arena, Dodgeball, Mulholland Drive, House of Flying Daggers, Hero, anything by Tarantino, Desperado, American Psycho, Mean Creek (seriously the best movie ever made), Batman I-II, Batman Begins, Kung Fu Hustle, Dracula 3000, Piniata: Survival Island, both Bill and Ted Movies, Encino Man, Back to the Future, Predator I and II, Alien, Aliens, all of the Christopher Guest movies (ESPECIALLY Spinal Tap!!!), Casualties of War, Apocalypse Now Redux, The Hapiness of the Katakuris, Mind the Gap, all 3 Lord of the Rings movies, The War, Flight of the Navigator, Femalien, The Neverending Story, The Emperor's New Groove, Bad Santa, Oh Brother, where art Thou, Team America: World Police, South Park: Bigger, Longer..., Orgazmo, and Crossroads (both with and without Britney Spears).

Television:

There's nothing out there better than South Park. Also, i watch Project Runway like an obsessed homo on crank.

Books:

Anything by Terry Pratchett!!! Hitchhikers Guide, Angels and Demons, any Chuck Pahlaniuk, any John Welter, Chistopher Moore is good, Hyperspace, The Dancing Wu Li Maters, Zen Guitar, Good Omens, the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series, the Harry Potter series (yeah... i know), books about guitar techniques, history, etc., Heavier Than Heaven was interesting, books about quantum physics, books about theoretical physics, crap like that, books about artists, books about the Greeks and Romans, and books about your mom (as long as they have lots of pictures).

Heroes:

I don't have heroes as much as i have major inspirations, you know? First in line has to be Steve Vai, followed by Leonardo DaVinci, Nigel Tufnel, Jessi from Full House, Salvador Dali, Meshuggah, Rush, Mastodon, Joe Satriani, Mattias IA Eklundh, and Andrew W.K.