IN MEMORY OF MY SOULMATE - PATRICK "LITTLEHAWK" CONARPE
MAR 17 1955 - OCT 28TH 2006
BRIt is with much sadness and heaviness in my heart that I write this to all of you.
Many of you may not know me but I am Songbird (aka Kirsten) and Patrick "Littlehawk" was my love, my soulmate and my rock. We were together almost 8 years and we had our up and down times and drove each other crazy but we understood each other's craziness. Too stubborn Pisces!!
We had our tough times and I know he often came here to share and at times it was rough for us these last few years with my illness.
I lost my dear Patrick on 10/28 when he was struck and killed near our home by a hit and run driver. My prayer is that we find the ones responsible so I can look them in the face and ask them how they could do that to my love and just leave him there.
But I want all to know that I was so proud of him in his new job and shocked that he cut his hair but even though I tried to get him to work less and we did not get much time together he was the happiest I had seen him in years. The people he worked with loved and adored and respected him immensely and I was so proud of him and he would come home non-stop talking about his day and how well he did in his job.
Our goal was to get him through the next year and he wanted to learn as much as he could and then either stay or pick somewhere quieter we could go to live where he could have a garden again and we could grow old.
He wasn't supposed to leave yet and promised me he would be around since I had finally gotten through chemo and was on the road to getting better.BR
I hope he knew how much I loved him and I know he loved to come and share his writing and in our rough times I know he connected with many here. He was a gentle soul but quite a handful as well - Italian (Sicilian) and stubborn and I always worried he felt that being a martial artist made him indespensible.
But we spoke of him going back to the light one day - I just wasn't ready for him to go now!!
am putting together a memorial and tribute page on our Sanctuary Productions site (www.sanctuaryretail.com) and will be putting up some of the last pieces he made in his jewelry to help raise money to take him back to NY and spread him in the mountains where he grew up as I know he would have wanted.
When we first met I encouraged him to make the jewelry because he had a natural talent and loved and understood the energy of the stones and he would always say that they were made and he was only the keeper til it found it's rightful home and as I look at his creations some I will never let go of but he tells me that many need to be worn by those that will appreciate his spirit through them.
If you have any thoughts or stories about my soulmate Littlehawk (Patrick) you want to share with me please email me through our site www.sanctuaryretail.com or at [email protected]
He speaks to me everyday and I know he wanted all here to know he is still here in spirit.
Right now I'm just trying to stay strong for him and hopefully one day put all his writings into the book he always wanted to publish but never did. Too hard to read all of his thoughts right now but I look forward to hearing your memories of him.
I am going to try to keep our vision and business going but it is hard right now but all our friends tell me he will help be there for me.
Love and light,
Songbird"GREETINGS.. MOST PEOPLE I KNOW CALL ME "LITTLE HAWK",MY GIVEN NATIVE AMERICAN NAME. I WAS GIVEN THIS NAME BY BLACK EAGLE AN ELDER OF THE DELWARE NATION MANY YEARS AGO,THOUGHT THE HAWK HAS ALWAYS BEEN APART OF MY LIFE,UNTIL HIS COMING I JUST HAD LITTLE UNDERSTANDING OF THOSE FEELINGS AND CONNECTION. I WAS BORN IN THE CATSKILL MOUNTAINS OF UPSTATE NY,AND RAISED IN A VERY STRICT SICILAN UPBRINGING.I STARTED WORKING AT 12 YEARS OF AGE,HOTELS AND KITCHENS,WHLE GOING TO SCHOOL.I STARTED STUDYING MARTIAL ARTS AT AGE 10,BUT MORE THE SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF THAT IN MY YOUTH THAN THE "FIGHTING ASPECT" WERE TAUGHT TO ME BY MY OLD TEACHER FROM CHINA THEN. A CONNECTION WITH THE LIGHT,AND THE METAPHYSICAL RELM HAS BEEN APART OF MY LIFE FROM A VERY EARLY AGE,ASTRAL TRAVEL,BEHOLDING TOMORROWS IN MY DREAMS AND SO FORTH HAVE BEEN APART OF MY EXPERENCES FROM THE AGE OF 5 OR 6.I JUST LACKED THE WORDS TO DISCRIBE THEM,OR UNDERSTAND IT ALL THEN.
I LEFT HOME AT 17 PULLED BY THOSE "VISIONS" AS IT SAYS IN A FAVORATE SONG OF MINE "I HAVE BEEN UP AND DOWN,AND ROUND ABOUT AND BACK AGAIN." I FOUND MYSELF IN THE NAVY,DURING THE VIET NAM AREA,AND TRAVELED AROUND THE WORLD 2X ON AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER. FOLLOWING THE PULL ON ME FROM WITHIN AND DREAMS I SAW IN MY MINDS EYE..MOSTLY A WOMEN CALLING OUT TO ME TO COME TO HER..AND A DEEP INNER DESIRE THAT I HAD TO FIND HER.
I HAVE BEHELD THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD..OLD AND NEW AND EXPERENCED THINGS I SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER,AND SOME I WOULD LIKE TO FORGET.
I HAVE KNOWN SUCCESS AND FAME BOTH IN BUSSINESS AS THE FOUNDER OF COMPANIES MAKING OVER $700,000 A YEAR BACK IN THE '80'S,AND AS A MARTIAL ARTIST,WINNING MANY NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONL CHAMPIONSHIPS OVER THE COURSE OF MY LIFE THUS FAR. HAD RICHES,AND ALL THAT GOES WITH THAT WORLD,AND BECAME LOST FOR MANY YEARS IN MY OWN EGO,AND GREED FOR WEALTH AND POWER.TO AWAKEN TO THE TRUTH THAT WITHOUT LOVE,IT IS ALL WORTHLESS..(AT LEAST TO ME).
I HAVE HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERENCE,AND HAVE BECOME ONE WITH THE LIGHT AND WAS SENT BACK HERE. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO HAVE KNOWN MANY GREAT AND RESPECTED TEACHERS AND GURU'S WHO TOOK ME IN AND TAUGHT ME OVER THE YEARS..HELPING ME ALONG MY JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY.FOR MANY YEARS I RETREATED FROM THE WORLD INTO MY OWN SANCTUARY,TEACHING CHILDREN MARTIAL ARTS AND THE WAY AND HANGING OUT WITH NATIVE AMERICAN ELDERS AND "ENLIGHTED"SOULS
IN THE MOUNTAINS OF UPSTATE NY,UNTIL 6 YEARS AGO WHEN MY PARTNER AND SOUL-MATE PULLED ME FROM "MY CAVE" AS SHE CALLED IT TO ONCE MORE LIVE IN THE "REAL WORLD" SO TO SPEAK.I NOW LIVE IN SUNNY CALIFORNIA,MY HAIR IS SHORT AGAIN,AND I AM DOING SOMETHING I HAVE NOT DONE IN 20 PLUS YEARS,WORKING A JOB,AS AN EMPLOYEE.(ALWAYS RAN MY OWN BUSSINESS UNTIL NOW)
I AM ALSO AN ARTIST CREATING JEWERLY,AND WANDS AND SHARING THE LIGHT WITH OTHERS.
I AM LAID-BACK AND LOOK FORWARD TO CONNECTING WITH OTHERS HERE. I AM COMFORTABLE IN A 3 PEICE SUIT AS I AM JEANS AND T-SHIRT. I AM NOT ONE EASLY IMPRESSED BY YOUR STATUS,OR WEALTH,OR LOOKS..BUT MORE BY YOUR SPIRIT.
SOME CALL ME A DREAMER..OTHERS A SEEKER..SOME CALL ME "SIR" OR "MASTER"..OTHERS CALL ME "BROTHER" OR "STUDENT".SOME CALL ME FREIND..OTHERS..WELL I WILL NOT EVEN REPEAT WHAT THEY CALL ME HERE (LOL).SOME HAVE CALLED ME "LOVER",MATE,OR THEIR
OTHER HALF..NONE HAVE CALLED ME "FOREVER" YET..
I WELCOME YOU..AND LOOK FORWARD TO OUR SHARING,DISCOVERING
OF EACH OTHER,AND OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER. IF YOU FEEL THE PULL COME SAY HELLO,ADD ME..FOR NOTHING IS BY ACCIDENT AND THE ONLY REGREATS ARE THOSE NOT FOLLOWED. FOR EVEN THE BAD ONES..SERVE US AS "LESSONS"..
