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I'd like to meet:

MISS ALANA ASHLEIGH WARD
Probably the most beautiful hearted innocent person you could meet. We met, can you believe it.....on myspace....twas a hot summer evening the air was calm and pleasant when I came accross the most hottest unbelievably scrumptious picture of yours truely....JOHN CENA!..I decided to comment this picture and would you guess that the owner of this profile was a young lass who came from nearby Newcastle.
Twas then that our friendship blossomed and soon discovered that we had a fond love of this same man that brought us together. Soon came August 3rd 2006 when lass and I would meet our beloved chain gang soldier and we met eye to eye. After realised lass didnt take the opportunity to get a good frisk in when approaching Mr Cena I could have suplexed her ass right there and then in the shopping centre but i didnt want 2 mess my hair.
As time pondered, lass and I became quite good chapps, cruising our way round the coastline, nearly crashing into gutters and Maccas driveways and teaching lass how to reverse park when i have no fucking clue either, yet years later somehow ended up thousand of kilometes away on a tiny island waiting for the happy hour bell to sound.
But to this day miss Alana is probably the bestest buddie I have and not even Mr Johnathan Felix Anthony Cena could break us apart.....well....well unless he asked for my hand in marriage....then thats another story but you are an amazing girl and I love you so much and dont know how i Could survive without you!