Allison Wonderland profile picture

Allison Wonderland

You don't need teeth to sing. -Shane McGowan

About Me

I was given the opportunity to pet and feed a sloth at a pet store in Florida, and now I am obsessed with them. That nose! Those sweet eyes! I should have just put his $5,500 self on my Visa and bought a plane ticket for him. This is essentially the story of my life: "It was all very well to say 'drink me', 'but I'll look first,' said the wise little Alice, 'and see whether the bottle's marked 'poison' or not, 'for Alice had read several nice little stories about children that got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had given them, such as, that, if you get into the fire, it will burn you, and that, if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it generally bleeds, and she had never forgotten that, if you drink a bottle marked 'poison', it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later." -Lewis Carroll*****"Mystery novelist Susan Conant has written, 'I feel the same spiritual comfort holding a leash that others feel holding a rosary.' I know exactly what she means . . . The feel of that leash is as grounding and vital to me as a glass of white wine used to feel, the dog as central to my sense of well-being in the world as a drink once was." -Caroline Knapp********"Midnight and big city skies shine bright on a small town girl who sings out loud for a brand new day, a brand new life in a brand new world--so dear bright eyes won't you say 'good night' to your lost love that you hold so tight and raise your fist as we smash the glass and shout it out loud 'here's to the past!'. . . I don't wanna be alone this time, another empty bottle by my side, and I don't think you wanna be alone tonight." -Ann Beretta*******"Jules, honey, you know what? This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. The electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them because there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep going when things got tough . . . We're all going through this. It's our time on the edge." -Billy Hicks in St. Elmo's Fire***** Myspace Backgrounds

My Interests

Andy Warhol and Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Music:

Ramones. Screeching Weasel. L*U*Vs. Fags. Huntingtons. Riverdales. Sicko. Ann Beretta. Fugazi. Sponge. Trash Brats. Misfits. Even in Blackouts. Detroit Cobras. Billie Holiday. Crud. Donnas. All. Beenie Man. One Man Army. Missy Elliot. Get Up Kids. Social Distortion. Alicia Keys. Biopop. Suicide Machines. Jimmy Cliff. New York Dolls. Bob Marley & the Wailers. Stevie Wonder. Odd Numbers. Nas. Romantics. Psychadelic Furs. Roberta Flack. Cars. Everclear. Aquabats. Black 47. Pogues. Shane MacGowan. Eyeliners. Gwen Stefani. Dandy Warhols. Salt n' Pepa. New Edition. Dancehall Crashers. TOK. Mr. Vegas. T.Rex. Waldos. Tanto Metro & Devonte. Groovy Ghoulies. 3rd Bass. Sir Mix-A-Lot. Diana King. El General. Lupe Fiasco. Velvet Underground. Neneh Cherry. And Cher. I LOVE Cher! ...

Movies:

Anything by/starring Alfred Hitchcock (esp. Rope, Vertigo, and Psycho), Kevin Smith, Woody Allen, Ice Cube, Jon Favreau, Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore, and Adam Sandler, as well as all of the 1980s John Hughes "Brat Pack" movies which are now referred to as "classics". I also love Harold & Maude, Austin Powers, Requiem for a Dream, Lost in Translation, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Garden State, To Sir With Love, Shawshank Redemption, The Harder They Come, Rad, Foxfire, Lords of Dogtown, Caddyshack, Hustle & Flow, Rock n' Roll High School, Dog Day Afternoon, and Little Miss Sunshine.

Television:

Will & Grace, Bernie Mac, Chappelle's Show, the Dog Whisperer, My Name is Earl, the Office and Intervention.

Books:

Anything by Wendy Wasserstein, Richard Wright, Hubert Selby, Jr., Domenic Dunne, Zora Neale Hurston, Julia Alvarez, Bill Bryson, Elizabeth Gilbert, Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris and Lauren Weisberger. I loved Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America by Barbara Ehrenreich, Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, and Peyton Place by Grace Metalious. I still love to read books my mother read to me when I was young, and I'll never be too old for Madeline and Eloise. .. "

My Blog

Pug Life

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dog_breeders_issue_mass ive_recall I think there should be a recall on all 2002 models, too!...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 06:10:00 PST

Click Sound?

Found in the user guide of my new computer monitor: "Take out your monitor and assembly with the base.  Make sure you heard click sound."  Assembly with the base?  Click Sound?  Ug...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Tue, 01 May 2007 04:10:00 PST

I know this should be a compliment . . .

but no thanks to the dude who left me this message: u look great 4 ur age I'M 31 YEARS OLD, MOTHERFUCKER, NOT 65!!!  Toni Morrison looks great for her age.  Diane von Furstenberg...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 08:33:00 PST

Don't "Act As If" You Aren't Hooked

Today I spent approximately four and a half hours on MySpace.  I filled out four lengthy surveys, and found the profiles of musicians/drunkards I adore: Black 47, Larry Kirwan, Shane McGowan...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 03:14:00 PST

So so true.

Some people are like slinkies,They don't really have a purpose,But they still bring a smile to your faceWhen you push them down the stairs....
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Tue, 23 May 2006 08:26:00 PST

Not bad for a near-deaf asthmatic

I am worth $1,653,612.00 on HumanForSale.com
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I found my calling.

Ashuelot Valley Environmental Observatory will offer trainings at KSC this week for people who want to help to monitor and rescue amphibians migrating across roads to vernal pools. The trainings are o...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Punk Might Be Dead

Famed Punk Bar CBGBs Facing Eviction By LARRY McSHANE, AP AP Hilly Kristal, owner of New York's CBGB's nightclub, responds to a question during an interview in his office, Tuesday March 1...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Who's Nostradamus?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Be...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I'm feeling more King Cobra today.

You're a Shot of Whiskey! What Type of Alcoholic Beverage Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Anyone who knows me will tell you this is a load of crap. Whiskey hurts. Real bad. There was that ...
Posted by Allison Wonderland on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST