Kevin - ProfilesArchive

About Me

i was found in a patch of cabbage in mid december 1981. i have asthma which i hope some dames find as a turn on(Heavy Breathing). I was in a real HOLLYWOOD movie(whirlygirl) produced by kevin costner. i was frat guy 23, but the movie never came out. i have sensitive lips. I like to eat sandwiches and i make great sandwiches. i am a comedian who most likely will never be successful, but that won't stop me from making the greatest buddy cop movie of all time. And if i believe what people have told me then i have many bad things written on my Permanent Record, but i have a suspicion that Permanent Records don't exist (Told you i was like david duchovny). I love Anne Frank, she is so coquettish. If given the chance she could have made Hitler fall in love with her and ended the war. She was also very precocious-she was using superfluous when she was 13 and i figured out what that meant at 24(maybe i'm just retarded) , If Anne Frank was alive today, i have no doubt, that she would be part of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And Frankly(ha!), they could use her; because besides that chick from gilmore that sisterhood is in bad shape. Also, if Anne Frank were alive today i would marry her, she might be 88, but she would be loaded from the money made by her diary (probably the greatest diary of all-time: yes even better than Daryl Strawberry's diary) Ha! i was just kidding about that tantrum stuff. i hope this peter sellers quote sums me up best, "Daddy 's a very talented loser" .. width="425" height="350" .. that's my scene in platooth. seeing it makes me blush. if you like it click on the WV Films friend below to see more work of WV.HERE IS THE LINK TO AN OTHER MOVIE I"M IN EL PIMPO MAXIMOhttp://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.indi vidual&videoid=16358775

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 02/08/2004
Band Website: AIM name: SARSbrain (if you feel like a chat)
Band Members: well there's me, kevin. then there are my friends alienbrain and SARSbot. Matty Goldberg and Rob Azden are friends but not members. there are alot of people (3) who help me have a good time making jokes about each other but mostly at people just out of earshot (what a rush).
Influences: TV and sevaral head injuries. I've been shot in the head with an arrow and cracked my head on a large rock, borderline boulder. take pity on me. i think Rick Moranis might be i'm not sure, but he is funnier and better Looking then woody allen. You know what i'm going to go out on a limb and say that Rick Moranis is an inspiration more than an influence. Hugh Grant is funny too, i can't name a good movie he's in but trust me he is the English woody allen. There is also a high probabilty that i'm autistic and that would explain most of my behavior. .. ..
Sounds Like: a guy talking into a mic, but very slowly (that was my idea). audience and fellow comiedians have said i'm very funny, but i have trouble trusting people (issues!). Some have compared me to steven wright or mitch hedberg, but i like to think of my self as a lazy david duchovny. see for your self at duchovny.net........ width="425" height="350" ..
Record Label: www.themoderngent.com
Type of Label: Indie

My Blog

Cool New Movies

Two movies i did last summer have come out. check out this one with a bunch of really funny comedians www.threedecadesin.com. The other movie is El pimpo maximo an...
Posted by on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:14:00 GMT

I'm a rock journalist

i'm now a rock journalist or atleast a blogger who writes about music. i think this is another excellent way for people to ignore me, but chaeck for your self http://alienbrainsrockreport.blogspot.co...
Posted by on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 10:00:00 GMT

I AM A JERK

recently it has been brought to my attention that i'm a dick or jerk - whatever you prefere. i have to agree i'm a jerk and the thing is i think i actually want to be a bigger jerk. i want to be a big...
Posted by on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 20:33:00 GMT

Pickles

I started making my first pickle today. let me fill you in on how this happened. Yesterday i ate all my pickles. Not having any pickles made me very sad. Now i don't eat pickles everyday, but i ...
Posted by on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 18:41:00 GMT

Life, Time Travel, Atlantis, Melancholy, Walnuts

timemachines are so hard to build. i'm not asking for much- i just need to go back like a month and a half. i could fix it all. everything. Everything! i would bring duct tape with me in the timemachi...
Posted by on Sun, 25 Jun 2006 12:11:00 GMT

FANS ONLY!!

I'm in a rage. everybody spreading stupid rumors about me and won't ask me for the truth. Anyways i have an artsit myspace page, look at it, and it's for fans and other comedians i l...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Mar 2006 09:30:00 GMT

Steve Prefontaine

Steve Prefontaine is the greatest man to ever live at high speeds. He was faster then the average man. That is why only Jared Leto could play him (that other movie is good, with the guy fr...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Feb 2006 09:54:00 GMT

the emo post

most of the bands on myspace sing about crying, but they don't actually cry. i'm going to try my best in becoming truly emo. not only will i cry, but i will actually cut myself and then runaway bleedi...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Feb 2006 11:01:00 GMT

Sexual Predators Beware

If you are a creepy, old, over 30, whackjob of a man get off of my page. I don't need you coming around soliciting sex. i know all bout you. i watch dateline and have seen 2 out of 3 specials on you...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 09:11:00 GMT

Mac & Cheese

I Hate when they mess with my macaroni and cheese. Mac & cheese is a flinging art form. The cheese needs to be left alone and given the right amount of time to cool off, because you can't have the...
Posted by on Sat, 30 Jul 2005 20:18:00 GMT