The Legend of Ganja Ba (Smoke Master)
It was the Dawn of Man and the first Indica was eaten by a young couple who then had a child which they named Ganja Ba after the high that conceived him. Young Ganja Ba was the first person to ever smoke something. One day, while breaking up some kush in a bowl to put in soup, the whole bowl was accidentally ignited by a spark from his fire and as the smoke got into his lungs he got such a big hit that it caused him to cough and his eyes to water. Then he noticed the immediate reaction of the THC and from that day forward, different ways of smoking were developed.
Ganja Ba grew up to become the first warrior monk. He studied the ways of storytelling, music, stretching, breathing, meditation, weapons, and self defense until he mastered them. It was said that the gods were so please with his accomplishments that they came down from heaven in a flying saucer to give him immortality and show him the basis of what he later called Yoga. He was more flexible than any normal man, he had the strength of ten lions, hair so mesmerizing that it could hypnotize any man or beast, the voice of a thousand angels, and could jump so high that he appeared to run in the air.
He moved to Rome, and soon a high ranking soldier who heard of his skills asked if he could learn the ways of the immortal to teach his soldiers new exercises. These exercises later became what are known today as Gymnastics.
Some time after that, while visiting China, he met a man named Lao Tzu, who insisted on writing about this knowledge and power he had obtained in a book called the Tao Te Ching. Many years later, while in Nepal, a man named Siddhartha tracked him down in the forest and studied with him, which he used as the foundation for his own teachings. That man became known as the Guatama Buddha.
Ganja Ba was living in Italy for 776 years when, one day, he was told a teenager named Yahweh, son of an alien (God) and a human, traveled from Nazareth just to meet him. Ganja Ba warned Yahweh of the troubles associated with the gift of immortality and taught him how to smoke the chillum. Yahweh was so touched by the lessons he learned from his time with Ganja Ba that he taught of a perfect way and healed people with this powerful herb wherever he went. Some mispronounced his name Jehovah and today he is known as Jesus. After seeing what happened to his good friend Yahweh in the end, Ganja Ba went into hiding in India.
520 years later Ganja Ba took an Indian apprentice named Bodhi Dharma, who learned all that he could from his master which he eventually taught to monks in China. This became the seed of the Shaolin Temples and the beginning of Kung Fu.
As modern times came, Ganja Ba knew that the people would continue fighting over the legends until they were all destroyed. He knew that as the world became more technologically advanced, it would have no time for immortal legends such as himself. Still, there was nothing he could do.
During the Inquisitions he was captured and burned at the stake as a heretic. This would have had no effect on him except that a spell was cast on his body and it burned, forcing Ganja Ba to take refuge in mortal bodies.
He is still among us, hidden, even from himself. Reborn as an ordinary person with a modern name.
Today he is known as...Brother Time on Facebook
