I had my first drink at age 3, I was smoking pot at 4, at 5 I turned to speed and crack, and soon thereafter began a lifelong chase for the dragon. There he is, be right back! Back, he got away again. Filthy dragon whore. I've been in and out of rehab since 1984 but I'm currently going on 12 seconds sober.I spent the Summer of 1999 living among wild lions in Africa. Things turned tragic when they tried to gang up on me to steal my toast. . . using only a butter knife I single-handedly slaughtered the entire pride. I am currently writing a book about it titled "The Pride of The Pride of The Pride."I once tread water for three days in a row, just because I could. (And because the diving expedition left me in the middle of the Pacific.) A shark bigger than Jaws tried to attack me but I punched it to death.I am an expert in darts, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Uganda.I once read The Bible in a single day and still had time to learn the Spanish language that evening. ¿Impresionado?I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. (Ketchup? Aisle 8, 12 feet in, second to bottom shelf on the right. Booyakasha.)I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I'd tell you about them, but then I'd have to kill you, which I might enjoy.Years ago I discovered the meaning of life. It's contained in the 1991 film, "City Slickers": ONE THING, JUST ONE THING. My one thing is an all you can eat pancake breakfast. What's yours?Changes may take up to 2 mins to show on your profile
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