Vivian

For my own sake and the sake of remembering:Windows (Just one piece of the puzzle amongst other puzzles in the puzzle):Everybody has a mental window. For most, this window will never be opened. It is locked and they do not have the ability to unlock it. Luckily for them. My window flies open; the lock is worn and defective. This mental window is the window to insanity. Circles are beyond the window, and endless puzzles that all make up one big puzzle. The big puzzle is reality. Everything works in circles; intertwined circles. Its all associations and relationships. That’s all reality is when your window is open. Puzzles. Every thought is a puzzle piece and associated thoughts are small puzzles. All making one big puzzle. They repeat and go in circles. Circles are never ending, the puzzles are never ending, and everything is never ending. Normal. I am normal. The defect strikes again and the window opens. I close it, but it flies open again and the rain of insanity is pouring through and into me. The mere fact that I can still lock it is the only thing reminding me that I have even the slightest thread of sanity left. When I loose my ability to lock my window, I will loose my last thread of sanity and termination is inevitable. Insane. My purpose is to disect the puzzle to get to the smaller puzzles to get to the pieces. But first I need the pieces so I can build the small puzzles to make the big one. This is my life. This is my mind and my purpose. Don’t ask me questions and don’t make assumptions. Just absorb. Blank. Blanking out is the result of barricading the window. When the presence of the window is known, the lock will rust and begin to deteriorate. It becomes defective. The window must be locked when its presence is known, otherwise it just flies open. However, what if the lock won’t stay? Barricade it. To barricade is to make things blank. The window needs to be there in order to have normalcy. But the window opens to allow the insanity in and the presence of the window must be known in order for it to open. Once it opens it is defective. This defect is irreparable and unavoidable. You can only erase the presence of the window by barricading it. But the window must be present to have normalcy. Thus, barricading the window leads to blankness. Neither normalcy nor insanity will exist once the window is barricaded. Medicine is a barricade. Those medicated become blank. The window is present in all, but only the insane know of it’s presence and only the blank have barricaded it. What makes one aware of the windows presence? Well, that’s easy; the same thing that makes one insane. What is insanity? Is this insanity? Why does this one window decide insanity? This is just a puzzle which lies within a larger puzzle.