JeffØ Gasm profile picture

JeffØ Gasm

SLINGBLADE: THE VIDEO GAME...Starring Wesley Snipes.....

About Me


About me:
Sometimes I like to give the letter "b" in the word doubt the benefit of the
doubt. Democrats and Republicans anger me, I wish Ann Coulter and Michael Moore would have a child together, I believe
Fox News and MSNBC both have agendas...put them on a seesaw and maybe then it's fair and balanced.
I am an absolute sucker for conversation, a great movie, or a movie that absolutely sucks. I thrive on making people laugh,
and I really appreciate music of any breed, except music that blows. I wish that stupidity were a finite characteristic,
with limits...but I hail from a hell known as Sand Mtn, so I get to see a lot of the infinity first hand (sideways
eights are all over the place up here). I long for the day that people stop and realize how horrible 99% of the absolute
dreck on the radio and television truly is, Turn off MTV, Network News, and QVC and have an original thought...EVOLVE!!!
(or just keep saying git-r-done, and being blissfully ignorant, GO BACK TO SLEEP!)...

My Interests

T-Shirt Hell, The Neverending Struggle between idiots and other idiots, Air Conditioners, Hair Conditioners, putting my ear to the washing machine when it is agitating, Invisible shirts, M&M's, Political Anagrams (Ann Coulter's name can be changed into "no real cunt"), Soccerball revenge, giving Kendall the scorpion death drop, Putting cody in a headlock, Hailey's bite marks, Traci's Rocko's modern life shirt, People that support causes only by displaying the bumper sticker of said causes (guilty!), People who sue McDonald's for blah or blah blah, French fries, Sean Hannity's GOP ball-tickling, Alan Colmes' inertia, Penn & Teller, Chrisopher Hitchens getting pissed, Watching My Dad Watch America's Funniest Videos, Larryspeak, Filming Short Movies with my Uncle, belly-buttons, Diet Mtn. Dew, Embarrassing Others,Not eating sushi, Chinese fire drills, Swiss Army Knives, Maltese falcons, Full House Reruns, Drinking Pickle-juice, Special Effects, Special Olympics, Special Effects Olympics, Throwing things at people when they aren't looking, Bill O'Reilly's rage, Nancy Grace's Eye Make-up, Glenn Beck's teeth, People with Quirks, Kicking and Screaming, Loud Music, Mr. Show commentaries,Metroid, Super Mario Bros., Castlevania, Pro Wrestling Bloopers, and Weird Music!

I'd like to meet:

People who enjoy the simple things, And those who relish the complicated...

Robert The Doll!

Music:

A Perfect Circle, ABBA, Aimee Mann, Al Hirt, Alice Cooper, Alice in Chains, Angelo Badalamenti, Aphex Twin, Arthur Brown, Amon Tobin, Beastie Boys, Beck, BeeGees, Ben Folds, Bernard Herrman, The Big Black Cooters of Anal Drippage, Billy Idol, Black Sabbath, Blade Fetish, Bliss Blood, Bobby Womack, Body Count, Brak, Buck Owens, BUCKETHEAD, Buried Inside, Butthole Surfers, Cake, Cake Like, The Cardigans, The Carpenters, Charlie Feathers, Circle Takes the Square, Coldplay (seriously), Converge, Cradle of Filth, CruniON, Culture Club, Curiosity, DVDA, Dan the Automator, Danny Elfman, Darth Vegas, David Bowie, David Yow, Dead Kennedys, Deadbolt, Deadboy & the Elephantmen, DefTones, Dengue Fever, Depeche Mode, Desert Sessions, Devin Townsend Band, Devo, Dido, Dog Fashion Disco, The Doodletown Junkies, Double Dick Slick, Dresden Dolls, Eagles of Death Metal, Electric Hellfire Club, Electric Light Orchestra, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Elysian Fields, End., Ennio Morricone, Ex Voto, Faith No More, Fantômas, Faxed Head, Fiona Apple, The Flaming Lips, FOETUS, Frank Zappa, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Fuck on the Beach, George Baker Selection, Goodie Mob, Gorillaz, Hank III, Harry Nilson, Helmet, Idiot Flesh, INXS, Iron & Wine, Iron Butterfly, Jane's Addiction, John Lennon, Johnny Cash, Julee Cruise, Kaada, King Crimson, KMFDM, Ladytron, Lard, Led Zeppelin, Link Wray, Little Richard, Lords Of Acid, Lou Reed, Lustmord, Marvin Gaye, Massive Attack, Mastodon, Mazzy Star, Melt Banana, Melvins, Meshuggah, Messer Chups, Mindless Self Indulgence, Moby, Mondo Generator, Mothers of Invention, Mudvayne, Neurosis, Nine Inch Nails, Oingo Boingo, The Omen Soundtrack, Otis Redding, Outkast, Pantera, Patsy Cline, Pavement, Peaches, Pink Anvil, Pizzicato 5, PJ Harvey, Primus, Puscifer, Queen, Queens of the Stone Age, REM, Radiohead, Ramones, Rasputina, Reverend Horton Heat, Riz Ortolani, Rollins Band, Rolling Stones, Rush, Samhain, Sarah Maclachlan, Secret Chiefs 3, Simon and Garfunkel, Skeleton Key, Slayer, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Slim Whitman, Smashing Pumpkins, Southern Culture on the Skids, Stone Temple Pilots, Strapping Young Lad, System of a Down, TTOMO (3x1 minus 1), Taco, Talking Heads, Tenacious D, Tom Jones, Tom Waits, Tomahawk, Tool, TurboNegro, Type O Negative, Urge Overkill, Vampire's Sound Incorporation, Violent Femmes, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Ween, Weird Al, White Zombie, William Shatner, X, XTC, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yes, Zeni Geva, The Zombies, and yes...I cheated like hell (notice the alphabetical order) from my mp3 player...thank you for playing.

Movies:

The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra,Diabolique (The 1955 version, not that sharon stone crap) Rabid, Shivers, The Dead Zone, SlingBlade, The Omen, The Exorcist, Penn & Teller Get Killed, Evil Dead...all of em', The Hills Have Eyes, Blood Diner, Blood Feast, The Gore Gore Girls, Pink Flamingos, Desperate Living, Female Trouble, Polyester, The Tin Drum, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Richard Kern, Cannibal The Musical, Donnie Darko, The Brood, Anything Tarantino Has Done, Bowling For Columbine, George Romero, Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, Wes Craven, Tim Burton, Friday the 13th 1-infinity, Herschell Gordon Lewis, John Waters, David Cronenberg, E. Elias Merhige, Richard Donner, John Landis, Top Secret, Tobe Hooper, The Naked Gun, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, David Lynch, John Carpenter, David Winters ( Thank you so much for Space Mutiny...no really, I mean it), Anthony Doublin ( Future War made me get a laugh gland reduction), Wes Craven, Bad Horror Movies, Gory Horror movies, Anything Weird...different...bizarre, I love it...

Television:

FREAKS AND GEEKS, Garth Marenghi's DarkPlace, South Park, Ren and Stimpy, Family Guy (but I stopped watching since I learned that it was written by manatees), Mr Show, Sealab 2021, Chappelle's Show, The Simpsons, MST3K, Da Ali G Show, The Daily Show, Conan O' Brien, The Colbert Report, Penn & Teller's BULLSHIT, Strangers With Candy, Upright Citizens Brigade, Wonder Showzen, Robot Chicken, and just about any show where people get hurt (remember, there is a fine line between being on America's Funniest Videos and being on Rescue 911), all very nice....but just the tip of my entertainment iceberg

Books:

Encyclopedias, God Is Not Great (How Religion Poisons Everything), The God Delusion, Of Mice and Men, Animal Farm, Devil's Knot, Any Book Of Lists, Red Dragon, Silence Of The Lambs, Bridge To Terebithia, Anything Horror, Movie Guides, any book of stupid quotes is pure reading gold.

Heroes:

Damien Echols and Jason Baldwin, And anyone who still believes in the Constitution...

My Blog

An Idea...

So, this is a great idea.  I was thinking of starting a theme restaurant...It would be an Ethiopian themed restaurant, and it would serve absolutely no food at all.  Anyone want to help inve...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Sat, 28 Jul 2007 07:43:00 PST

Behold the magic of sweet tea...

The other night I was in a bit of a pickle...I needed to relieve myself of my contact lenses, and had a case readily available...however I had NO saline solution...then I gazed upon my Taco Bell Cup o...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 10:12:00 PST

10 years, down the drain...

Okay, so for the last 10 years and 5 months...I have prided myself on the fact that I haven't thrown up, as in NEVER...July 1st, 1996 was my last Esophagal Adventure in Up-Chucking.  Well, the st...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 06:50:00 PST

My Uncle, My Hero

Okay Everyone...Yesterday I got an email from my cousin J., she informed me that she was very mad that I have been putting videos of Larry on Youtube.  She said that I was mistreating him, and be...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:56:00 PST

The Melvins!

It was a fun show, even though you always run the risk of being shoved into the band's equipment...I have some footage of the dueling drummers if anyone is interested...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 04:34:00 PST

Shitty Zombie Movie Alert!!!

Burial Ground (1980) see it for a 25 year old 10 year old boy, he bites off his mommy's mammary!  And, see it for zombies with the ability to use a battering ram and throw daggers with amazing ac...
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:42:00 PST

My Vagina-Exit day

3 weeks ago, August 15th was my birthday...and no one remembered.  Except for my coworkers, who purchased me a latex vagina...my God, I need a girlfriend.
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Tue, 06 Sep 2005 07:51:00 PST

Armpit Hair

I freakin' hate armpit hair, seriously...I even shave my own...it is the most useless augmentation of the human body, even more so than the foreskin
Posted by JeffØ Gasm on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST