About Me
Thoughts on Self-Esteem: "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" ~ Derek Zoolander. Favorite Pick-up Line: "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to." ~ Napoleon Dynamite. Favorite Insult: You're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop. ~ Patches O'Houlihan, Dodgeball Thougths on Canadians: It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. ~ Cotton McKnight, Dodgeball Thougths on Intelligence: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was. ~ White Goodman, Dodgeball Thoughts on Relationships: [about Andy telling Trish he's a virgin] Andy Stitzer: What if she laughs at me? Cal: Then you punch her in the fucking head. Thoughts on Work: I don't like my job and I don't think I'll go anymore. You're just not gonna go? Yeah. Won't you get fired? I don't know. But I really don't like it and, uh, I'm not gonna go. So you're gonna quit? Uh-uh. Not really. I'm just gonna stop going. When did you decide all that? About an hour ago. So you're going to get another job? I don't think I'll like another job. Well what are you going to do about money? Bills? You know I never really liked paying bills, I don't think I'm going to do that either. ~ Office Space (1999) Thoughts on Co-Workers: Pat Healy: Really, it's only a side thing for my true passion. Mary: And what's that? Pat Healy: I work with retards. Mary: Isn't that a little politically incorrect? Pat Healy: Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with. Thoughts on Loss: False alarms are really funny, aren't they. What if your home,... what if your family,... what if your dope was on fire? Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. ~ The Breakfast Club Thoughts on Safe Sex: A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. ~ Marla Singer, Fight Club Thoughts on Women: We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. ~ Tyler Durden, Fight Club Thoughts on Flirting: [after giving Marla a breast exam] Marla Singer: I wish I could return the favor. Narrator: There's not a lot of breast cancer in the men in my family. Marla Singer: I could check your prostate. Thoughts on Life, The Universe and Everything: "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." ~ Douglas Adams from the novel 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' (1979)
