Tom [The Magnificent Duke] profile picture

Tom [The Magnificent Duke]

I'm a bit of a music nazi, sorry

About Me

"I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing - a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore - no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in', there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin' tough, over and out!"

- George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
The Facts
Name: Tom
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: Wickford, Essex, UK
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Occupation: Student/Bartender
College: SEEVIC
Relationship Status: Single
Interests: Music, Films, Comedy, TV, Booze, Life
Dislikes: Lots of things.
Now fuck off or add me.

My Interests

music, mates, girls, baseball, gigs, comedy, drinking, having a good time, oh and music

I'd like to meet:

Someone who doesn't make me want to cave their face in when they talk to me

Music:

I like alot of bands, if you care about what I listen to, then ask, ok? Here's a few for examples:
Reuben, Reuben...and more Reuben!
The Fall Of Troy
Biffy Clyro
Iron Maiden
Pendulum
The Prodigy
Smashing Pumpkins
Moby
We Are Scientists
Skindred
Fighting With Wire
Engerica
Weezer
N*E*R*D
One Day As A Lion
Million Dead
Ida Maria
Alexisonfire
Black Lungs
Scars On Broadway
Marmaduke Duke
Sucioperro
Slipknot
The Clash
Say Anything
Strapping Young Lad
Vampire Weekend
Beat Union
Cancer Bats
Alkaline Trio
Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip
Miles Davis
Otis Redding
Thrice
Hot Water Music
Family Force 5
Hundred Reasons
The Pigeon Detectives
Valient Thorr
Iglu & Hartly
Amon Amarth
Refused
Clutch
In Flames
The Ghost Of A Thousand

Movies:

I like good films, and some films that are so shit they're good. Give me a film with good fight scenes and a half decent storylines and ok actors, then you've got me hooked

Television:

Loads. The main ones that will have me hooked: Dexter, Chuck, House, Smallville, Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You.

Books:

A fair few, I think I'm gonna start "The World According To Jeremy Clarkson Volume 2" soon...

Heroes:

Oh god, lots of people. But my true heroes are my friends, I mean who else eh? If it wasn't for them I wouldn't still be here writing this bollocks

My Blog

That new Metallica song...

What a waste of 79p.It's just the biggest pile of self wankery uninspiring shit.It's the exact reason everyone should stop giving a shit about Metallica. They keep getting proclaimed as "The greatest ...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:16:00 PST

My Dream Festival Line-Up

Day 1 MAIN STAGE Skindred Thin Lizzy Motley Crue Rob Zombie Run D.M.C Buckcherry Backyard BabiesRichard Pryor (Stand-Up Set) Dream Theater The Answer SECOND STAGE (The Funbox Stage) Koopa MC Lar...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Fri, 11 May 2007 02:16:00 PST

Sara...

Is actually the best. I can actually trust this girl with my life. One of my closest and bestest friends. She's there when I'm down, and listens to me whine, moan and bitch about stuff. She tells me w...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 06:34:00 PST

A Collection Of Bill Hicks Quotes...

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It ha...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 03:36:00 PST

You Know...

It's nearly the start of a new year... Damn! A whole year has passed! And what a year it has been! So much change So much happiness So much sadness I've made some good decisions I've made some bad dec...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 11:41:00 PST

Your Mother Sucks Cock In Hell

The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out (well supposedly... we shall see) 1. Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? With your mother 2. Are you gay? Not as much as Sara 3.Do you have hairy...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:35:00 PST

Ha, It's A Straight....

I Found this letter that my Dad wrote to Powegen after they gave me a THREE HOUR interview, along with many other OLDER applicants, they knew I was 16 and fobbed me off with the "There were applicants...
Posted by Tom [The Magnificent Duke] on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 08:44:00 PST