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I am here for Friends

About Me

Myspace Backgrounds You know that feeling when you hit the bottom of your last bottle. That tight desperation you feel in your chest as you reach the filter of that last cigarette. Your out of money. Your devoid of all hope. That is me. that is my whole life. Constantly clawing up to that lip of that hole. Like a fly in the ice at a seedy bar you attend every Friday for a pint or two. Not only are you clawing your standing at the top of the hole reaching down for your self and just as your finger tips graze your alter selves hand he falls and the ground bellow him changes into a sea of piss. That is how I feel on a daily basis. Yet hope dictates my life at this current juncture, I don't see this ending soon. And its probably because I’m not really doing anything to help it. I don't really see the point. So I’ll sit in parks on benches drinking away my instabilities. Devoid myself of air as I dragon my cigarette and hope that everything will be fine in the morning. It won’t. and I’ll wake up and relive the same routine like an Alzheimer’s patient. How’s that for a plan. Oh? So you would like to know a little about your dismal author. Well I’m homeless which is a lot more difficult then it seems. I lived in hotels and porn shops for a week with a ragtag group of disinherited individuals I have dubbed the vagrant saints of Bay Shore. we have recently disbanded due to one being incarcerated , one going back home and I being taken in by a very close friend. On top of being homeless I am also a writer who is forever afflicted with writers block. Don’t wait to see if any novels are going to be hitting bookstores any time soon. Also I am diagnosed with acute psychosis. So all of my friends where wrong I am not very crazy. I’m just a little psychotic. Acutely psychotic if you will. I still am not convinced of that which is why I discontinued my strictly regimented dosage of pills. Because I refuse to have my life run by medication. I refuse to loose what little of a soul I have left to pills. I have forgotten everything that I once was and I have replace my self with a machine that lives to stay alive and that alone. So I guess this is goodbye to all of those who knew me once Because I am long gone. I am a shell of myself. Enjoy.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet any one who look at this MySpace and says cool, cuz who ever could say that is, just plain silly.
This was edited by Juliana, cuz of her damned OCD attack :D

My Blog

personal sins (unfinished)

(chorus x2 ) Mother please for give my sins to nightcuz i have gone and lost this fight i am half a man , with a bottle in handand these bitches in this club don't know me(first verse : wild...
Posted by on Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:40:00 GMT

Seroquel

Locked in and druged upMolded and changedTwisted and renewedSet back to zero Clear minded and empty souled I am a vessel to be filledSanity and focus swallowed in little white pillsBecouse&n...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:37:00 GMT

the 21 rules of the DEAD RATS!

rule 1) you do not talk about DEAD RATS!rule 2) YOU DO NOT talk about DEAD RATS!!!rule 3) to be a DEAD RAT! you must be initiated by how ever a leader decides (basically any one who i or Casey has giv...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:45:00 GMT

the final seconds of a flickering flame

The Final Seconds of a Flickering Flame His heart beat one final time as his lungs collapsed Everything went black as the world around him fadedHis mind darkened in one final second and the imageOf f...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:35:00 GMT

old lyrics

A s   w e   f a l l   V e r s e   I  W e   w a t c h   a s   l i g h t n i n g   f a l l s  L i g h t s ...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:31:00 GMT

feeling

is it worth to be so afraidto walk out my front door into the raincuz i can't bear to endure your accusing starewhen every momentof every day turns intosome sort of fucked up masqueradethe mask i wher...
Posted by on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:38:00 GMT

Tennessee

woo fun: cows, two dollar smokes, the creek, Jill's family and new awesome friends. how can you beat it. only way you could beat it is by taking it all and adding some some beer... wait we did that tw...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 16:54:00 GMT

untitled

caught in gazes like traffic jamscigarette smoke signals raise into the skyembers like head lightsprepare for the crashconcrete door bells cries out like shattering glasshitting the floor, l...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 14:45:00 GMT

hanging

Hanging Hanging out this second story window, the music blaring loudThe cigarette burns this soft lightIt illuminates your eyes shining brightIn the light of this full moon nightAnd I'll leave you to ...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 11:48:00 GMT

Johnny HorrorShow

His jacket weighs him down as he walks this lonely road, he breathes out his cancer he feels drowned as the rain pounds on his back. The cold feels good on his face as rain drops crash like kamikaze b...
Posted by on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:31:00 GMT