Been known to remodel 5000 square feet on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention with window treatments. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row 5 minutes each day. I woo men with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed walking, I am an expert in furniture placement, a disabled veteran in love, and an outlaw in Seguin Texas.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Guadalupe basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I am the subject of numerous documentaries and gossip circles.I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail from local vendors.My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic.
On weekends, to let off steam, I practice yoga.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
