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annie

I am here for Friends

About Me

i had no idea that when i surreptitiously loaded one little entry video for a shitty tv program (the apprentice) onto myspace, it would generate an email that notifies EVERYONE. for a while there, i was inundated with “good lucks” and “let us know if you make it.” ~~ so here’s the synopsis. i TOTALLY did make it! and promptly turned the show down. It was earlier this year. ~~ there’s a protracted and less interesting version of that story, but most of you don’t (and shouldn’t) care, so i am not going to tell it. ~~ but anyways, like, all that pertains to that video and all. you can watch it for yourownself. it's not really all that accurate, but it shows me talking and shit.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ about me:i was born five minutes before midnight on halloween. i'm a straight-up scorpio, with all the good qualities and, unfortunately, all the bad. i'm the director of project management at an advertising agency....ahhhh, forget it. i give up. i completely suck at trying to write a compelling yet succinct synopsis of my personality in one paragraph. i can't give you a snapshot of who i am. i mean, i guess you can make certain assumptions about me based on my taste in books, television, movies and music, but that won't really tell you who i am. i do much better when asked specific questions. and when i know you're not feigning interest just to be polite.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

madonna (because i have loved her since the eighth grade), paris hilton (really, i just want to go clubbing with her one night. i think it would be hilarious) jennifer aniston (i want to know who her therapist is - did you read her interview in vanity fair? girl appears to have the healthiest post-divorce attitude i've ever seen and i am completely bewildered as to how she hasn't cracked wide open, shaved her head, crawled up on her roof and started sniping her neighbors in malibu. i mean, come on. brad and angelina are living in the SAME flippin' town! that would totally send me over the edge.) demi moore (i want to know who her plastic surgeon is), jenna jameson (you gotta give it to her, girl knows how to market herself. you gotta respect that.) elizabeth wurtzel (i wanna see if she's really as insane as she says she is or if it's all for attention. seriously, who thinks to crush and snort ritalin?)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i can't believe i wrote all that tripe (see "I'd Like to Meet" above) over two years ago. presently, i detest jennifer aniston and i feel bad that i wrote about jen having a nervous breakdown and shaving her head and all, because, somehow, i NOW feel responsible for britney shaving HER head. i love britney dearly. i would never intentionally inflict harm on that broken, little darling. i retract everyone i wanted to meet a couple of years ago. INSTEAD, i would like to meet britney. i would whisk her away in a van with tinted windows, lock her in my bedroom closet with a carton of marlboro's and a stack of "People's" and i would bring her frappuccinos from starbucks and i would bring in "bit-bit", her chihuahua, for special, supervised visits. i would help her recover from this year's long tumultuous attempt at rebounding from the loss of justin. ---- as i type this, my gay neighbor has "gimme more" blaring. SEE, i'm telling you, she's SO coming back this time. for real....now i'd like to meet angelina, lindsay lohan and fiona apple. those ladies are fascinating to me.