Ahehem-- ::throat clear, deep voice:: I am the GENIE of the lamp! I am invincable! I am FREE!!!!
It all began when I was born. I was born a Genie. I was always blue, so blue... that my parents didn't know what to do, so I quickly began my first thousand years as a faithful genie, granting every one of my masters their three wishes. Some of them were a little wicked, but, eh-- had no choice really. Well, at least I thought I had no choice, until this lad AL here comes along and shows me that some humans DO have a heart. What an incredible adventure! And better yet, I got to sing all the way through it!!!! WEHEEE!!! ....okay, back on track. Yeah, and there was this beautiful girl jasmine. And I helped little Al to get this girl, the princess, her and her heart. It all worked out well I 'd say. Except for when I turned all morbid and zombie and became Jafars "CRAZY PYSHCO PAL" for a while. But then I got to flick him all the way to the sands of time!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!! (Oh yeah, and don't forget Iago.)
+I reply to all comments and messages personally, so shoot away!!+
Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Some all-powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't get us out of this cave. Looks like we'll have to find a way out of here.
Genie: Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down!
Notable Genie Lines:
[Genie turns into a butterfly]
Genie: I feel so... pretty!
Genie: Three, no substitutions, exchanges or refunds.
Genie: Rule number three, I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
[as a female tour guide]
Genie: Thank you for choosing "Magic Carpet" for all your travel needs. Don't stand till the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye. Goodbye, thank you. Goodbye.
[back to normal]
Genie: Well, how about *that*, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? "Three?" You are down by one, boy!
Genie: Oh. Well, I feel sheepish.
[turns into a sheep]
Genie: All right, you baaaaaad boy. But no more freebies.
Genie: All right, sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?
Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.
[Aladding finds the Genie and Iago in the clutches of the bad guys]
Genie: Don't worry about us, Al.
Genie: I can throw my voice. Catching it is another matter.
Genie: Kid's got a genie, and he takes advice from a rug.
[Genie changes Iago into a woman]
Genie: (suggestively) This is a good look for you, and it could be permanent.
Genie: Here's my bill for saving your life. It's been nice working with you.
Genie: Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.
Genie: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her. She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.
Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.
[the Genie and the flying carpet are playing chess]
Genie: So, move.
[the carpet makes a move]
Genie: That's a good move.
[a la Rodney Dangerfield]
Genie: I can't believe it. I'm losin' to a rug.
Genie: Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.
Genie: But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need?". To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
Genie: I'm history. No, I'm mythology. Ah, I don't care what I am, I'm free!
By the way...
If I don't add you within 24 hrs DON'T GET YOUR
UNDERWEAR IN A KNOT!!! A Genie has a personal life too. Please be patient with me.