hula girls, vespa scooters, cowboys, international espionage, in-n-out burger, flowers, binge drinking, viking conquests, competitive shopping, kittens, handlebar mustaches, your mother, free beef jerky machines, composting, shiny objects, past participles, sea monkeys, good grammer, conspiracy theories, meat in a can, spelling bees, cocoa butter, dollar store condoms, chili sculpture, asbestos, the tenth dimension, charles bronson, tempranillo, asthma, midget shirt, texas music, beef cattle market, $1.50 beers at happy hour
1NT3RN3T SUP3R$T@R5, flipper babies, luchadores, mathletes, preteen thai boys , snorks, people with plaid hair, girls who enjoy long walks in the prison yard, your shitty band , pinewood derby champions, sociopaths, asian guys named jerry, glass sorters, professional ninjas, suicide specialists, vermiculturists, abe vigoda, and people formerly in comas.
Pirates need not apply.
i have my own personal theme music that plays wherever i go.
the gay house remix was done by dean coleman.
midget action movies, films about girls in comas, and that porno with your sister.
also, pornos about midgets in comas.
kids in the hall, mr. show, the shield, twin peaks, PTI, nova, nature
current reading/recommended list: the ginger man, the structure of scientific revolutions, the secret life of lobsters, the death and life of great american cities, an incomplete history of the art of the funerary violins, irrational exuberance
nabokov, huxley, orwell, fitzgerald, teenage girls diaries. the bible and other works of suspense.
colonel nathaniel lewis shuman