HamHock The Barbarian - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My village in the mountains of Cimmeria was destroyed and I was taken into slavery at a young age. (not playing the victim though...) After years of brutal servitude I was sold and forced into pit fighting, making my owner wealthy in the process.I was eventually released and have been a freelance slayer from then to the present.In between burning, pillaging, thieving and conquering I like to read romance novels, breed Tea Cup Chihuahuas and have the occasional Pina Colada.Some of my other interests include women's olympic ice skating, decoupage, combing cat fur the wrong direction and running through the woods in my underwear screaming out brand names of mayonaise.I also campaign for the Save the Naugha Foundation.We work to halt the senseless slaughter and skinning of thousands of innocent naughas each year just for the naughahyde.I love McRibs and am currently circulating a nationwide petition to ban the "muffin top".

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Loose wenches, people with large hidden stashes of gold and gemstones as well as any poor fool hungry to taste my steel.I would also like to meet Patricia Heaton because she is so tiny and kinda hot.

My Blog

Endless Energy Theory

Ok, here is the theory.... Dropped buttered toast always hits the floor butter side down.Dropped cats always land on their feet.So if you tape a piece of toast to the belly of a cat with the butter si...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:49:00 GMT

Media Driven Cookie Communism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4s5zHCWI_8 Do not watch the above link if you have a weak stomach! Cookie Monster has been brainwashed by the Communist Vegans that run the media! He has been see...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:23:00 GMT

Used and Using Again

Its 2:49 a.m.I stare at the trench coat draped over the chair.I can see its outline in the darkness. I take a drag off my cigarette...in its glow I can see her, laying next to me, nestled in the crook...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 07:38:00 GMT

The McRib is Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't write at the moment as I just found out. I am on the way to McDonald's right now and tonight will be a blur of sinful porky goodness. I plan on eating 8 McRibs while resting naked on a bed of...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:53:00 GMT

How McRibs are Prepared

Yes, it's slightly disturbing that THIS guy was hanging out and cooking in the very same place your beloved McRibs come from but he is here to demonstrate the process! Let's walk through the...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:16:00 GMT

Moral Majority vs. The Legalization of Marijuana

As a barbarian I also have politcal interests so when I am not murdering, raping, pillaging, thieving, participating in canabalism, dismembering enemies, selling children of captured tribes into slav...
Posted by on Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:36:00 GMT

The Myspace Mirror Picture: "Im so hot!"

The myspace mirror picture, while innocent in most cases, can turn into a severe form of narcissism manifesting itself in a trifecta of self absorbed behavior in others. Lets anal...
Posted by on Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:39:00 GMT

Meaty Goodness Brazilian Style

Texas De Brazil OMG it is the best of meaty goodness! For those that are unaware it is an upscale Brazilian Churrascaria where beef, chicken, lamb and pork are served prepared in a variety of ways ...
Posted by on Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:05:00 GMT

Feeble Knieval

I went dirtbike riding today for the first time since around 1987 which was then the first time. It was great to be out on the trails in the summer sun flying through the trees with the wind wh...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:50:00 GMT

Satans Self Checkout

OK, has anyone out there had success with the "self checkout" line? Maybe its just me but every time I try one I end up having to get assistance from the self checkout register monitor who alw...
Posted by on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:20:00 GMT