Keith profile picture

Keith

As useful as a one-legged man at an ass kicking contest

About Me

I consider it a good day if you find yourself in a torn Army green t-shirt, using a badly notched machete to split open a coconut and hand half of it to the scantily clad, mocha-skinned beauty sitting on the beach next to you as you stare out at the waves and listen intently for the sound of war drums drifting from the dense foliage of the jungle behind you.

My Interests

Past visions of the future, film, hiking, biking, camping, snorkeling, reading, travel both foreign and domestic, absinthe, bourbon, bizarre wines made from strange fruits, Southern history, World War One, road trips, Route 66, roadside attractions, mid-century design and fashion, swashbuckling adventure, Airstream trailers, super 8 film, tiki culture, exotica, mod culture, oceans, deserts, cooking, fine dining and drinking, esoteric history, military history, pop culture history, places haunted by Aaron Burr, abandoned architecture, backpacking, kayaking, science fiction, archaic technology, and the history of science. Also, you know, hollerin' and shootin' and drivin' fast and other American Southern past times.

Movies:

Don, Streets of Fire, African Queen, Casablanca, North by Northwest, Thunder Road, Night of the Hunter, The Life Aquatic, Danger Diabolik, Key Largo, Treasure of the Sierra Madres, Foxy Brown, Wild Zero, Shaan, Dil Se, The President's Analyst, Our Man Flint, James Bond, Seven Samurai, Hidden Fortress, Vertigo, Barbarella, The Big Sleep, Shanghai Gesture, things where masked Mexican wrestlers punch Frankenstein in the face, spaghetti westerns, anything where the villain laughs a lot, 1960s European spy films, Italian giallo, assorted zombie movies.

Television:

Mythbusters, American Chopper, Cowboy Bebop, Lupin III, stuff on the History International Channel, The Prisoner, Avengers, Invader Zim, Secret Agent, The Saint, Patlabor, Rome, King of the Hill, Young Ones, Lost, Battlestar Galactica (old and new), Deadwood, The Mighty Boosh, old 1970s television specials where Bigfoot comes down out of the mountains and shakes trailer homes.

Books:

Mark Twain, Raymond Chandler, Ernest Hemingway, Tony Hillerman, Ian Fleming, Edward S. Aarons, Donald Hamilton, Haruki Murakami, Pico Iyer, Tim Cahill, Bill Bryson, HG Wells, Robert E. Howard.

My Blog

Son of Search Terms

A long time ago, I posted some of my favorite search terms that brought people to Teleport City. Well, it's time for a sequel...star wars in the future there are boobsAnd thank God for it, otherwise, ...
Posted by Keith on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 03:22:00 PST

Back on Track

OK, take two. Well, let's call it take two. I'm relatively back on track and am writing with a different, better approach. So I'll begin posting material again tomorrow. Much of it is a better version...
Posted by Keith on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 02:22:00 PST

Back on Track

OK, so I have been keeping up with things, more or less, albeit in hand-written form. I'll be transcribing and posting soon. And yes, i went back and revised in order to get things heading mroe in the...
Posted by Keith on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 10:13:00 PST

I’ve totally lost the thread

I derailed severely. Must reassess. Middle school is not working out the way I want.
Posted by Keith on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 01:29:00 PST

The Story So Far

So yeah, as I suspected, everything I've written up tot his point has been pretty terrible. Show don't tell, right? This is less a book, and more of a ridiculously detailed summary of a book. It'll gg...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:35:00 PST

Today’s is no better, and it’s short

Aye, we all had our rituals, but unlike a young and impressionable Tom Hanks, our rituals did not include wearing a burlap sack and requiring Christopher Makepeace to talk us down from our lame-brain ...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:18:00 PST

Today’s writing is pretty bad

She led me along the path again, and this time I stepped with considerably more wariness and did my best not to let the sight of her brown legs in those shorts distract me from avoiding decapitation. ...
Posted by Keith on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 07:58:00 PST

Wasp Nest

We were out at the farm the weekend after the Bigfoot hunt, helping Grandpa Bud bale the last of the season's hay -- a chore which involved handling the bales as they were passed up to us on the back ...
Posted by Keith on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:00:00 PST

Horse Fly

I may have lived close to nowhere, but Grandpa Bud lived far from everywhere. At the very least, I had friends and neighbors, or perhaps more appropriately, partners in crime, and they were all an eas...
Posted by Keith on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 12:57:00 PST

In Search Of

The trouble did little to dampen my spirits, though. Larry wanted to carry Hitler's head out in front of us on a pike -- a word we knew because of our flirtation with something called Dungeons and Dra...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 08:34:00 PST