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About Me

One time my big dog escaped from the yard and was fighting a groundhog on the Amish farm that is just on the other side of the fence and I was like "Brodie, NOOOOO" and she got all scared and climbed back under the fence and I threw the baby that came out of my vagina in the crib and ran out back to see if she had like...got it all bloody or whatever because mostly I didn't wanna clean blood out of the carpet but she hadn't so I went to let her in the house to clean off the ground hog slobber from her and when I went to open the back door an angry Amishman came running up to the fence chasing the groundhog and was picking up giant rocks and hurling them at the groundhogs head with all his Amish might trying to smash it's skull into several pieces and so the groundhog got scared and ran underneath the part of the fence where Brodie had come under and my little idiot dog was still in the yard and so he started to fight the ground hog and I was like "Ben-Chi, NOOOOO" and ran over and he thought he was in trouble so he like ran away and wouldn't come in the house so I had to pick him up and he was also all coated in groundhog slobber and mud and it was gross but when I was trying to bring him inside the angry rock hurling Amishman started talking to me and it went kinda like this: Angry Amishman: Is that your groundhog? Me: .............. AA: Is your groundhog sick? Me:............... AA: Yeah I tried to smash his head with those rocks, but I couldn't get him Me:.............. AA: Yeah....So I guess he got away thenAnd then we totally made out. His name is John and he's 17.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

whoever i feel like and i'd like it if you'd stop trying to force me because i pretty much hate everybody.

My Blog

Idiot Fetus

Keeps trying to tunnel out the side of my gut.  And my tunnel I mean both claw her way out and slice an opening with her razor sharp elbows.Ass.
Posted by on Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:08:00 GMT

My Grandma Calls it "Precious Baumer"

I call it a festering sack of urine.
Posted by on Sat, 24 Jan 2009 09:02:00 GMT

Stupid universe.

So last night I was talking to my dad and it's all icy in oklahoma or whatever so I made fun of them.Then, I had to go to some "education class" or whatever with a bunch of pregos. ANNNDDD there was ...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Dec 2008 01:47:00 GMT

Such an accurate, truthful response....

Question-Can you think of a single policy issue in which you were forced to change a long held view in order to accommodate changed circumstances?Palins response...There have been times where as mayor...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:30:00 GMT

The best thing that could happen to the people of this country

No, I'm not talking about energy independence or a sudden comeback in the stock market...I'm talking about if at the next event Palin is supposed to attend, Ashton Kutcher walks onstage and tells Amer...
Posted by on Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:45:00 GMT

Dumbass old people and Sarah Palin

SoooooI was eating Japanese food and this senile couple was sitting at a booth next to me. They asked the waitress if everyone in the restaurant spoke chinese. Then, they told her they came there al...
Posted by on Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:43:00 GMT

Inspired by Llyod

Another reason I hate PeopleBy: Llyod MagnauckThey ask me how tall I am all the time. They ask if i play basketball. Who cares? Do they go up to midgets and ask how short they are?"Hey, hey there guy....
Posted by on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 08:22:00 GMT

I own a new item

Bitchas.(It's my favorite)
Posted by on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 21:28:00 GMT

Does Mexico know you've taken all their tequila?!?

Check it, bitchas.It's like 61 degrees outside.And I never want to go rockclimbing. It's just a bad idea.
Posted by on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 09:48:00 GMT

Crazy old men are awesome people.

Crazy old man Ron is my neighbor.He's totally awesome and crazy and stuff.He came over yesterday while I was raking leaves (because i'm a tough lumberjack kind of gal) to say hi.After all the hi's and...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 11:42:00 GMT