Aaron

Good evening and welcome! Looks like you’ve found yourself on my own personal slice of the once popular myspace. And what a journey it's been. Did you know there are now over 300 trillion people on myspace? And somehow through all of the other clutter & musical groups & filmmakers & personal profiles…you’ve found me. Seems magical doesn’t it. Even more amazing is that you decided to take the time to read this profile when there are so many other ways you could be killing your time. I feel honored. Hopefully, you will consider adding me to your already impressive arsenal of friends, acquaintances, and idols. I would be in good company. Let me assure you that I will be a good “friend.” I won’t bother you that much. I’ll laugh at your jokes. I’ll comment on your photographs. I’ll keep my personal stories short and sweet. Try and get to the punchline as quickly and efficiently and possible.
I’ll let you get on with your day. I invite you to explore the remainder of my profile before making the final decision. Tally Ho Too-da-loo!
I’d like to introduce you to my life’s work. As you may or may not have heard, I recently released my first book, “True Stories from a Wasteland called Earth.” (August 08) It’s a collection of 8 bizarre-surreal-uncomfortable-semi-truthful stories. If you’re one of the ten people that like to read, you might want to check it out.
Publisher's Description:
"True Stories from a Wasteland called Earth" Eight all new tasty tidbits from Author Aaron Carnes with his unique brand of fiction, 'cartoon nihilism.' Explore the strange, the mundane, the bizarre, the uncomfortably intimate, the oddly familiar, the surreal with his eight new short stories. Featuring "Suicide its a killer." A man destroys everything he owns after a talking patch of grass grants him his one wish of a more meaningful life. "Rotten Sperm." A motivational speaker addresses a school auditorium with tales of confronting his old church youth group leader, fighting drunken cowboys, and sticking his finger up his butt in the shower. "Social Anorexxxia." A cashier, high on an illegal substance, gloop, witnesses a murder in his liquor store, in between humiliating hallucinations and private conversations with God.
For more information on this book and my writing in general check out these links:
Buy True Stories from a wasteland on Amazon Here you can read other people's reviews and additional comments by me. It's only $12.99
lulu.com Here you can download my entire book for free. (Though they don't include the front & back cover.)
www.aaroncarnes.com This is my personal site. Check it out! (*Note* For some reason, myspace won’t allow me to link to www.aaroncarnes.com. I don’t know why and I’ve tried speaking with the monarchy at myspace headquarters with no success. So what I’m gonna ask you to do is to copy & paste the URL into your browser and have at it.)
Here’s some videos you can watch if you’ve got a few minutes to kill before hauling your corpse off to work before you put the kids to bed and try to find yourself a little ‘me-time.’
I made this first music video with my wife. The song is called, “They’re talking.” The artist: Dan Potthast. (Lead singer for the Ska-punk outfit MU330.) This is taken from Dan’s second solo album.
I made this second video with the Bedraggled Victor Velasquez & the Unsnarled Ricky Mac. The song is called, “I’ll be careful, you’ll be dead.” The artist: My Former Self.
The last video is a movie! It was written and directed by Amy Alone. My contribution: Lead Actor! The movie is called “Alienated.”
If you so desire communication, please feel free to transmit. We can discuss prevailing social issues and talking moving pictures. If you like music we can chat on this subject. If you wish to discuss sports, I will make an attempt, but will likely have little to contribute. Tell me of your childhood pain and I will sympathize. We can share theories on life. You’ll say that living creatures are good, life has purpose and logic is tangible. I’ll rebut with conflicting opinions. Do you like politics. Tell me about it. We’ll make conversation.
My second book is on the conveyor belt as we speak. I’m finishing up some layout & grammar copy-edit issues before I stamp it complete send it off to publishers to get rejected. It’s called, “Test Tube Brain Fuck!” Here's the cover:
This will be my second book & debut novel. Allow me to tempt you with some of the inside images. I did all these wonderful drawings that accompany and surround the text. Enjoy!
Looks like we’re wrapping up our journey together. I want to thank you for taking the time to sift through my page. Statistically speaking, only 1 in every 1,882 people that click on my profile make it all the way through. You are the exception to the rule. Kudos to you. Let me leave with you one more interesting tidbit. Below I have a link to Amy Alone’s personal t-shirt & merchandise store. You may even find a few products with my picture on. Check it out. With that, I hope I’ve managed to convince you to let me into your on-line life. Keep me posted on your comings and goings. Let’s build a better future together. Time is on our side. Life is a broken record. The universe is a knock knock joke. The zombies are our next evolutionary step. Death goes on and on and on without end.