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Arnold

About Me

About phenomenal man, about space adventurer, about the big chief! About Me, about awesome handsome and unbelievably valiant Arnold J. Rimmer. My way wasn't easy, but I'm still the best in the universe.

Rimmer is the youngest of four brothers-the others being John, Howard and Frank, all of whom are high-flyers in the Space Corps - and seems to have been the victim of some extraordinarily psychotic parenting. His father was a half-crazed military failure, who made up for his own inadequacy (being one inch below Corps regulation height) by stretching his sons on a rack.

His mother seems to have spent a great deal of time with more successful officers in positions that would baffle most balloon-modellers, and Rimmer divorced his parents at the age of 14, only retaining access to the family dog every fourth weekend.

Graduating from Io House (the boarding school which enforced his wearing of boxing gloves while in bed), Rimmer enlisted in the Samaritans. In one morning, six people committed suicide, including a wrong number who only called for the cricket scores. With a maintenance course from Saturn Tech under his belt, Rimmer elected to enrol in the Space Corps and work his way up the ranks.

Rimmer entered the Corps at the level of third technician, and managed to climb the ladder all the way to... well, second technician. He has taken and failed the astro-navigation and engineering exams 13 times - the most fascinating of which resulted in him writing 'I am a fish' 400 times on his paper.

Despite this failing, Rimmer continued to lie to his mother. While his father suffered a series of strokes , he told her that he had reached the position of 'Rear Admiral Lieutenant General.' In reality he was still making sure the vending machines didn't run out of fun-size crunchy bars.

At best an incompetent fool, it was Rimmer's failure to repair a drive plate correctly which caused the cadmium II leak that killed the ship's crew. He died also, but was revived as a hologram to keep surviving crew member Dave Lister sane.

Rimmer's personality was replicated exactly. His fascination with 20th century telegraph poles, his love of Hammond organ music and Morris dancing and his enthusiasm for war-based board game Risk continued.

He had amazing sexual life. Everyone knows Yvonne McGruder. Love of his life is Nirvanah Crane (beautiful lady from Holloship) and she loved him too.

He was posthumously promoted to officerhood. (damn finally!) Rimmer was last seen heading off into the big black, replacing his heroic counterpart 'Ace' when the latter was mortally wounded. His inability to tell the ignition from the ejector seat may hamper his chances as a hero for infinite dimensions.

Following the nanobotic revival of the Red Dwarf crew, a new, living Rimmer has emerged. Lacking the five years of growth the previous version had experienced, he promptly attempted to cheat his way up the ziggurat of command and condemned himself and his companions to two years in the ship's brig.

I just want say, that...i'm sometimes...very nice and very sensitive...

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