Shortly after being born @ Einstein hospital (South Bronx, NY) in 1972 to a Mr. And Mrs. Andre Balazs, Andre was put up for auction at the circus. For the next six years, no one, not even Andre, can account for the Childs whereabouts. In 1980 Andre surfaced in Iowa, and there, gave up playing with Legos. Mr. Michael Traumastein of 86 perch st. Iowa City, Iowa (a cildhood friend who wished to remain anonymous), stated in a recent interview on NPRs All Things Considered, "he had exhausted their structural possibilities and began to enjoy the taste of clay." As any gifted eight year old would do for excitement Andre turned immediately to crime. His temper, it has been said, was matched only by his slow wit and occasionally against a pit bull named Jaws on Sundays behind Old Lady Clearys Laundromat and Bait shop. His short but infamous crime spree lasted for only several minutes before he was captured by the authorities. Though only minutes in duration his career as a criminal left an indelible impression on many of his peers as well as a strange spot on one of their couches. After being tried and convicted of caring about humanity without a permit in a school zone- Andre was subsequently sentenced and paragraphed consecutively. Andre served time in several institutions simultaneously (1980-1991), until in 1991, when he was granted a Gubernatorial pardon when his defence teams uncovered evidence that there indeed was no such crime. Upon his return to society in 1991 Andre came to a sudden realization that he preferred the company of musicians to that of people, and shortly after began drinking soymilk heavily. This was not entirely by choice a severe lactose intolerance forced the move. Frustrated that soymilk wasnt as tasty with cereal as real milk Andre began writing songs (1991-present). Aware that there is safety in numbers Andre soon joined forces with Marc Balling and his perfect ears and rhythm, and later, with Dr. Dave Shuman, the master of prestidigitation. Andre is presently residing in local dive bars (on a rotating basis for security reasons) with a piano, two cats and a dog, a microphone, and a pointed stick. Contact -
[email protected]
