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I do not intend on looking for the most awesome cool bands anymore. GO FIGURE.
i absorb, and feel from things that actually give them off.
maybe i'm white. NOT IN THAT WAY IDIOT.
i like hearing people say "we" it makes me feel included. and important.
The love for music is forever there.
same goes with free verse and creative writing .
-is a sucker for fiction.
is a sucker for great minds . <- probably my weakness.
Fascinated with how people think; i get drawn to them. and their personalities.
MOODY is my middle name.
get it? got it? KOO, FOO. :)
comment goes here, baby :)
Whateverlife.com!
10/17/08
I'm afraid of how the stars scatter and leave their debris.
I believe in the whisper that stirs this great shake.
geometry. connectivity. astral ambiguity.
will this be as dull as they shine and seem to be.
i would probably fall and forget,fall and regret
when in closed-controlled, things seem possible
but concrete imagery as to see
lines and sets. foils and destroys08/30/08
peeping tom, i and i. a cackle; response to a desperate cry. you make me so scared. although alive. shrug it away, my mind denies. i fall for the same mines I've marked long before. a step tantamount a limb, a limb tantamount a nerve, a nerve lost; an empty shell, post war. AFTERSHOCK. the silence ruins my whole.
08/23/08
i remember a video of passing cars and light trails sustained.and center limb is where we meet
and although I portray some blank deciet;
a barely breathing heart, a hope, a spark,
maybe my hair will shine brighter than others this time :(
and a glance from an eye I wish to catch.cause maybe we are phoenix - like or maybe a volcano resting
I'm waiting for my page to turn
and hoping my next few lines scribble your name somehow
and perhaps it might change my view on people being savage beasts
who dance upon a table, begging for something to eatI'm fucking miserable ad hopeless fuck.
07/21/08
soft and weak from slumber, vulnerable to the other side,
head whiplashed from purple and sea green. we vandalized the secret pool, and we swam in there like innocent teens.
we brought our mothers there, and my mom hated swimming but she swam anyway. the next scene was raging waters. and i tread it with terrible anxiety, to get to the cave where water reflected pretty lights for us to gaze upon. and again you started writing. unnecessary things. and the cops came and you pointed at everyone else. i called you a bitch and a mother fucking traitor. i slapped you and told the truth. i slapped you and they put you away. you and your crazy hair. you and your evil heart. i shall always dream of you, and bit by bit get the vengeance i crave.
07/14/08
hover over me, yes intangible weight
clear haze? is that possible? for a hand to pop out from that cloud of trauma, of insecurity. he is the happy camper and i am a confused soul. he once walked the trail i'm on now but reached the end to nirvana. and he tells me tales of his epic journey. and i listen attentively and i think my skies are getting clearer and I'm ready to partake and pattern my footsteps on relics tattered by heavy storms and flash floods.and your eyes are so lovely. it still has that innocence and sincerity like back when we were on our way to the beach. and our frustration and eagerness and stupidity lead us to that kiss behind my parents and it was awesome. i will love you forever and be here forever. you are a splash of cold water on a hot day, you are a mirror that reminds me of who i am, and shows and reflects my inside traits. you are a bearer of no lies, you are perfect. a body of hopes of love, an escape, we can be rebels for a while but fix ourselves right after. partners in crime until we die. :)05/06/08
i remember, as a kid, i saw myself as a storm god, every time id get really down, a storm would come. or it would rain or it would get really windy. come to think of it, the wind is blowing pretttttyyy hard right now. so thats kind of funny,and it has gotten awfully cold, and thats very coincidental in some weird way. sometimes there's more to love than just hormones, its times like these when i call upon a storm to come, its the magic of sharing ice cream, its that chill in your spine when you know somethings up, and turns out you were right. i still have a bit of hope for life, hoping it isn't all mechanical. maybe I'll be religious again, maybe not. or maybe ill believe in the kindness it brings, the lessons and such. tomorrow it will still be windy, but i doubt it will rain.
04/17/08
your drunken whispers, sign of weakness, when you get home you have to act sober so your mom wont find out eh? its okay, your mom will forgive you, after all you are a mirror image of her, same as me. i think you are. this is one legend. next is the lion, cradle eye, sought in fetal position, yes. aha. you are that lion drowning in your own reflection. the tale of the narcissist, your dead to my eyes. but to other's you choose, they see you as a BOX OF LAUGHTER (inside joke, eh ashley? i loff you) so. IF after "TEA" will be like that, then i guess, ill have a biscuit . and smile. and go on home. to my wonderland. leaving you in the real world where your real love is, with the real eyes that stare back to your SINCERE soul,sincere intentions, OH YES. THE FUCK.. MY BISCUIT IS BURNT MOTHER FUCKER.
03/30/08
work has it's rewards. but lack of sleep, and sharp shooters don't mix at all. mixed emotions and a bottle of vodka don't either. i wasn't talking about friday night. THAT was fun. although i was a mute puppet AGAIN. cant really avoid thinking to yourself,voices from the present become background as your mind wanders off, especially with liquor. my gosh. you just can't stop that from happening. that sense of emptiness never fails to creep up from behind. waaaaaaaaaaay back from your sub conciousness it climbs your neck, into your tongue. but your brain tries to undo it by shutting your jaws closed. your heart wants to say so much. but you're just so withdrawn. its funny that i picture cartoons of me just shooting my head (in my head) just to get over the frustration of wanting to do it. it helps just to imagine. am i really alone? cause it seems like no one wants to listen to my shit. my thoughts are pretty scattered still but, i think i made more sense today... im still wondering though.sensory nerves are just over working themselves, SO HARD that its creating this false stimuli that it reacts to, IS it THAT bad? is it normal? i guess it is. IT should be, maybe this states thing was a bad idea, Pulling someone from a natural habitat and placing them into another, again we are all like animals, and adaptation is a must, but still. IS IT NORMAL? maybe it is? cause there IS such a thing as survival of the fittest or selective whats that word.. damn, that word was used a lot in the 6th grade. how could i forget that. and not this. HA! where are the drugs when i fucking need them. organ reverse !!!!!
this shall be my blog thingar majingar. 031608
so today was pretty neat cause i got home a bit early, although the petty fight between my boss Satan, and the oh so loving goddess of motherness was pretty unnecessary but it happened anyways. so yeah its about me getting stressed from work. oh it never ends. but i guess its somewhat okay but there was this one day it felt like i was on drugs cause i was so dizzy at closing i stayed there an hour more than i should have cause i couldnt get anything done, i was so burnt, i kept on losing things on my way out, i actually inputted the visa logs master logs etc all wrong and it was hecka thick so i had to redo over and over, i lost the keys inside the store, i couldnt get out, i lost one paper i needed for closing, i tried to look for it, and lost my phone inside the store, and to make things worse, when i got everything together, i was so farrr outside, i noticed that the bank deposit bag wasnt with me. so i had to go back in the mall to get it, and go back out again and deposit it to the bank across the street. and wow i was so tired. i just ate so fast checked my ms really quick and slept. *sigh. i guess i should know when to stop. its not fun anymore. i am earning but i dont think its worth it. so i guess its right to quit in 2 weeks, so my grampa wont have a hard time anymore.look at me writing down this shit. as if somebody would read it. AND no, im not trying to fish, its just that if somebody really gave a shit, they would contact me and ask me how i am. HINT HINT* :P so yeah i miss all of you. :)
buzz me sometime on ym IF im online i will definately respond but if not. then maybe you could message me on myspace or whatever, but yeah if you dont really care. dont ask me how i am cause i know its just gonna pass one ear and out the other, save the time you'll spend on typing false intentions, for other productive things so you dont waste your time or mines <3
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