I`m only a salty dog when im too lazy to shower

About Me

(i barely wrote any of this) I am a pirate, and will pillage your village and rape your women, then laugh and call them whores. I hate whores. piratically genetically engineered from birthI like metal and industrial, and go to clubs to mope and not dance. I hate stupid mosh pits because I love to see your face when I kick your ass. My arms are bigger than your head. I secretly want to be your slave. I will marry a virgin one day. I confuse my psychic. I detest loose women. I miss my long hair, and my goatee feels like pubic hair. I hate the smell of cat piss. I hate boorish potheads; hard drugs are for losers and my old friends. I'm a better drunk than you are, and will make you lick the floor while I work on a buzz. I like the story lines in pornos, especially SpiderBabe! I had a hamster named Kitty once. I rock a banadana better than you because I'm a fucking pirate. My logic is infinite. Indeed... I am in search for someone to travel with me to Iceland...I must play with the penguins.. ok so they're puffins, same thing.. width="425" height="350" ..
You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. You are definitely quirky and often mistaken for mad but if anyone is truly paying attention they can see there is method to your madness. You try really hard to be bad but in the end you tend to do the right thing.

Captain Jack Sparrow

100%

Sinbad

100%

Black Beard

100%

Long John Silvers

92%

Captain Barbosa

83%

Will Turner

67%

Mary Read

67%

Captain James T. Hook

42%

Dread Pirate Roberts

17%

Morgan Adams

17%
What kind of Pirate are you?
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My Interests

Pillage; n 1. To rob of goods by force, especially in time of war; plunder. 2. To take as spoils. .. width="425" height="350" ..ok so reliant K is a super gay bubblegum poppunk band but this song is the only thing decent they've accomplished.. .. width="425" height="350" ..

I'd like to meet:

a female manifestation of Trent Reznor's lyrics, so i can fuck them. Someone who can keep up with me when I feel like drinking. . and shiver my timber... A virgin...
who I can idolize and settle down with. someone who will take away the apathy, and replace it with everythingand but of course.. width="425" height="350" ..

Layout Created at KillerKiwi.net

Music:

Old Nine Inch Nails; Pantera; Cradle of Filth; VNV Nation; Imperative Reaction; Ministry; Hansel Und Gretyl; Gravity Kills; Stabbing Westward; KMFDM; Prodigy; Messhuggah; Bauhaus; Grendel; Pearl Jam; Smashing Pumpkins; Alice in Chains; Soundgarden; Stone Temple Pilots; Iron Maiden; Distrubed; Slipknot; Korn; SKinny Puppy; 311; Anthrax; Collective Soul; Black Sabath; Beastie Boys; Beck; Chemical Brothers; Blood Brothers; Led Zeppelin; Green Jelly; Jane's Addiction; Megadeth; Rush, Queen; Rage Against the Machine; Static X; Primus; Reel Big Fish; Third Eye Blind; The Spin Doctors; Poison; Van Halen (not Van Hagar); Slayer; White/Rob Zombie; Poison the Well; Nirvana; Foo Fighters; The Offspring; Anaal Nathkrath; Sepultra; Hatebreed; Cannibal Corpse; Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids, etc, etc...... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" ..

Movies:

Reservoir Dogs; Pulp Fiction; Jackie Brown; Kill Bill; Spider Babe; Pirates of the Caribbean; Bring It On; Josie and the Pussycats; anything with Vincent Price; Wayne's World; The Crow; Edward Scissorhands; Sleepy Hollow; From Hell; The Ninth Gate; Friday the 13th (2 - 9 [especially Jason Takes Manhattan]); Nightmare On Elm Street; Fight Club; Total Recall; Young Frankenstein; Frankenstein; House On Haunted Hill; The Shining; 28 Days Later; 40 Year Old Virgin; Leathel Weapon; Die Hard; Sin City; Caveman's Valentine; Little Nicky, every Adam Sandler movie; The Lost Boys; Natural Born Killers; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; From Dusk Till Dawn; Minority Report; The Order; Se7en; 12 Monkeys; Shwshank Redemption; Face Off; Ghostbusters; Back to the Future; Ninja Turtles; Surf Ninjas; Mr. Nanny; Batman and Batman Returns; Black Sheep; Tommy Boy; Fargo; Great White Ninja; Airheads; Spinal Tap; Monty Python: The Quest for the Holy Grail; Indiana Jones; Merlin; Alexander; Lord of the Rings; Kate and Leopold; Leprechaun; Tank Girl; Barbe Wire; Tomb Raider; Interview with the Vampire; Bram Stoker's Dracula; Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Gladiator; Robo Cop; Jurassic Park; Office Space; Passion of the Christ; Baseketball; American History X; Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; Super Mario Brothers; Street Figher; Hook; Ace Ventura; The Mask; The Man in the Iron Mask; The Cell; Beetlejuice; Spaceballs; Top Gun; Con Air; The Rock; Rambo; Hot Shots; Resident Evil; Independence Day; Doom; Starship Troopers; Mall Rats; The Breakfast Club; Cool Runnings; Land Before Time; Ice Age; Aladdin; Groundhog Day; The Addam's Family; Crazy Lips; Half Baked; Samuari X; The Matrix; Donnie Darko; Coneheads; The Patriot; The Cable Guy

Television:

neo-pirates kick arsse.. width="425" height="350" ..

Books:

The Crucible by Arthur Miller; Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite; Macbeth by William Shakespeare; comic books; Christopher Pike books; The Biography of Dante; The Catcher in the Rye... piracy takes me away from most of my reading time.

Heroes:

.. width="425" height="350" ..Nazis are NOT Pirates

My Blog

fuck all that hasnt yet to come the Future is perfect

well its a new year time to delete the memories of this past year and begin anew and when i say delete i mean delete purge destroy...
Posted by I`m only a salty dog when im too lazy to shower on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:42:00 PST

bitches

i enjoy documenting when i am miserable
Posted by I`m only a salty dog when im too lazy to shower on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 05:10:00 PST

lamentable

life is unfortunate im not sure whos making it harder on me others or myself i detest being single dont see that changing anytime soon i lack interest in life this state has a habit of sucking the sou...
Posted by I`m only a salty dog when im too lazy to shower on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 08:12:00 PST

you are all boring

i swear being at work hearing inmates do the special ed thing is more fun than the after work events. the world is boring, uneventful, and unfortunate nothing deserves more hate than life itself. it i...
Posted by I`m only a salty dog when im too lazy to shower on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 06:54:00 PST