It's All BillShit™ profile picture

It's All BillShit™

You never know what you can get away with until you try.

About Me


"...Ah, it took me years to write it
They were the best years of my life
It was a beautiful song
But it ran too long..."

The Entertainer by Billy Joel
I am pretty much an asshole. What more could you want from me? I'm told that I'm egotistic, self-centered and generally unphased by the issues plaguing the world that do not revolve around me. I am confused by this because I do not know of a world that does not revolve around me. My main source of entertainment for the past couple years has been drinking with friends, making new random friends and talking women into doing things they would later have to talk about in confession, and could be banned from many middle-eastern countries for. It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut at times. Ok, most of the time. I'm usually a bit too honest. I don't really have that social filter between my brain and my mouth that would allow me to not say stupid shit. All of my most serious injuries were alcohol related. I'm not afraid of heights, but I'm scared shitless of falling from really high places. I don't know what I want to do in life, but I do know that I don't want to be old. I want to go out on top... because the only way to go downhill is fast, and ending in a blaze of glory.
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest, weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed & health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells, but naturally, it attacks the slowest & weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells. This makes the brain a faster, more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

-Cliff Clavin, Cheers Patron & Analytical Genius
My Boom Box:

My Interests

Making money. Drinking. Women. Boating. Cars. Driving in cars with hot women to a boat to go do some drinking and getting paid for it... I have aspirations.

I'd like to meet:


Heidi Fleiss... I'm sure she'd have some good pointers.

Heidi Klum... Because she's flippin hot.

Jimmy Buffett... Anybody who can get that many drunk people to shut up and have fun is sweet.

Warren Buffett... Because Jimmy's brother has to be just as cool.

Any HOT women... who have other hot female friends that they enjoy touching in special places and would like me to help them out. (NOTE: I said hot, not ugly. If you think you're hot and you are not, I will correct your assertion.)

Who I Wouldn't Like To Meet:

Any bitches... who are so self absorbed that they fail to realize that the greatest thing that could ever come out of their mouths would be my cock.

People who lack a basic sense of humor... lighten the fuck up already.

Douchebags who have to start altercations to get attention... calm down, we know you're there, you just lack a personality that anyone wants to pay attention to.

Anyone who wants to push their cause on me... if I didn't care when the last asshole talked my ear off about it yesterday, I'm not going to suddenly give a fuck today either. Unless you're trying to get me to sign a petition that invoves me drinking more or getting more ass, leave me the fuck alone. Enjoy your oppionions, but don't be a hater because I don't share them.

People who go on daytime talkshows to talk about they baby mamma or how they don't know who they baby daddy is... Seriously, you people should be restricted to anal sex only.

Anyone who thinks the world should pitty them... everybody has problems, quit dwelling on them and your life might seem a little better... or just get drunk with the rest of us and say "fuck it!"

And Finally, A Toast:

Stolen from Captain Tim, who stole it from Pete B, who probably stole it from someone else:

Here's to us.
Here's to those like us.
Here's to those who want to be like us,
Fuck 'em,
Heres to us.

Sláinte! Peso Bill's Drinking Team View All of Peso Bill's Drinking Team
Peso Bill has The World's Greatest Drinking Team .

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Music:

My life is like a million songs... they just all end up playing at the same time so I can never enjoy just one.. I listen to just about everything from rock to country to rap & R&B. Just all depends on the mood. Some of the best would be The Eagles, Jack Johnson, Jonny Lang, The Temptations, Matt Costa, Jackson Browne, Jimmy Buffett, Journey, 2Pac, Kenny Chesney, etc., etc. You can tell how scrambled my music tastes are by the playlist to the right.

Movies:

Dazed and Confused, Van Wilder, Scarface, Carlito's Way, Wedding Crashers, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Sin City, BaseKetball, Napolean Dynamite, the Jersey Trilogy from Kevin Smith... anything with crude humor and an obvious lack of morals...

Television:

The West Wing (So long... we'll miss you old friend), Entourage, Family Guy, South Park, I don't watch too much TV. I have way too much masturbation to get done. But, I guess in line with the masturbation thing is The Girls Next Door... I'm now seemingly addicted to watching this too, since I love playmates and I want to buy the Playboy Mansion someday.

Books:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, The Driving Force by Peter W. Schutz, How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, etc. Anything motivating. I'm too lazy to read for pleasure. that's what sex, beer, and movies are for. Actually, The Game by Neil Strauss & I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max are entertaining as hell. I read each of them in a night. I'm considering reading some of the old classics like The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, père, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger... mostly becuase I should have read those in highschool, but I never actually did anything when I actually did go.

Heroes:

Hugh M. Heffner (for his ability to bang hot ass twentysomethings when he's 80 years old. A lot of guys have 20 year old trophy wives when they're old and rich... Hef has 3!), Warren Buffett (for being humble enough to live in a 2300 sq. ft. house when he is the second richest man on the planet... no yachts of rediculous size, not stable of $3 millon cars, just the thrill of being the best investor Wall Street has ever seen), Larry Page & Sergey Brin (for allowing me to find anything whenever I want with their little project called Google. You might have heard of it. If you haven't, check it out), Bill Gates (for stalking me in my sleep with all of the tracking systems he's had so lovingly installed into Microsoft Windows... Hey, at least he didn't have to slaughter millions of innocent people to become the richest man in the world... just annoy then all with bundled software), Larry Ellison (especially for the Rising Sun and the MegaYacht war he's started with Paul Allen and Roman Abramovich becuase... "I like big yachts and i cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny, when a yacht pulls in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung...), Paul Allen (for his contribution to the massively ginormous yachting world with Octopuss), Roman Abramovich (for owning three of the world's 100 largest yachts and secretly building one that will be the largest yacht ever built... 600 feet and counting), Aristotle Onasis (for starting the MegaYaching thing with the Chirstina O, and for not letting that little greek bitch Stavros Niarchos push him around... anybody who's grand kid wants to marry Paris Hilton has some fucked up genes to begin with) and anyone else who has a net worth larger than the yearly operating budget of a small country. Oh, and my favorite tard, Jimmy

My Blog

I Got Tagged...

OK, I got tagged by Alicia in her blog, and everyone knows that calling me out is like calling Marty McFly "Chicken" in Back To The Future, so now I must pay the piper.   Here's how to play....
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 06:42:00 PST

In True BillShit" Fashion...

Aloha everyone! It's been a while since I've posted any type of update on here... which is ridiculous since I'm in MuthaFukkin Hawai'i and this place is awesome. Anyone who's never been here, needs to...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:31:00 PST

The Blow Job...

I received this in an e-mail recently. It originally contained some other idiots retort to the dribble that this ranting bitch wrote but I, being the arrogant bastard that I am, figured I could d...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:47:00 PST

Permanent Link To Pictures

Just wanted to post a permanent link to the pictures that I have up on WebShots. My Main Profile Route 66 Pictures Laura's Birthday New Years Eve My Birthday @ Mojo's 80s Party @ Russ' Tyler's Birthda...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 02:00:00 PST

Bored? Take this test...

Let's see if anyone can get anything right...   Create your own Friend Quiz here...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:10:00 PST

Well, Isn't That A Pleasant Surprise...

Not surprisingly with my recent bout of random insomnia, I woke up at 8AM this morning after going to bed only 4 hours earlier. This happens a lot when I don't go to bed with a head full of booze, and...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 09:41:00 PST

Route 66 Picture (About Time)

I know, I've been slacking quite a bit on getting these up, but my computer dies right when I was got home and it hasn't worked since. I finally got the pictures off my hard drive and uploaded them to...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 08:08:00 PST

It's Been a Long Time Since I Rock & Rolled...

To start things off, I have to offer up a couple of apologies. First, to those of you who used to get some regular entertainment out of my ramblings here when I used to spread my random brand of stupi...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 11:44:00 PST

Finally Home, and Ready to Rock...

Well, as most of you know, I returned to G-Rap on Saturday after a year in Cali, and I'm oh, so happy to be back. I started my new job today at TheRockfordNetwork.com, which is an awesome little start...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 02:36:00 PST

On the Home Stretch...

Yeah, it's been a long and winding road, but it will soon come to an end. Heather and I are currently chilling in the St. Louis Westin and enjoying the sactualry of Westin's "Heavenly Beds." Let me fu...
Posted by It's All BillShit™ on Sat, 23 Sep 2006 11:25:00 PST