The short version, for those who demanded it, now in easy-to-read large print: I'm Scott Crawford. I do stuff. I make music . I run a web site called "My Big, Black Cock." I have formed a media company called
antimatteruniverse. I've been in a few other bands , aside from making my own music. I like to meet lots of people , as long as they're not dicks. I like some pretty cool stuff. I like to share the love with my fellow musicians whose music I dig. George Tabb needs your help. I don't need your help as badly as George does, but I could use some, too. I know where you live. Sign my mailing list.
Thanks for reading, and if you want more in-depth information on the above, read on, but we all know that no one really reads anymore, right?
Now Available: For those who have been asking about the availability of my music for purchase ( Kage tells me that people have been), it's now available in a wide variety of formats, with more being added constantly! "The Ritual" is a film score I recorded in 1994 for Propaganda Videozine III, and to date, there's never been a proper release of it in any format. There were maybe 20 cassette copies pressed at the time it was completed (Anyone out there still have one of those cassettes?), and some bootlegs do exist, but until recently, that was it. First-time release, comin' atcha live! "The Ritual" is available on CD from lulu.com , on the U.S. iTunes Music Store (link will open in iTunes, or ask you where it is/why you don't have it if you're not set up to handle iTunes URLs) , and if you're outside the U.S., "The Ritual" will be available on iTunes shortly where you are, if it isn't already. "The Ritual" is also available on Rhapsody and Napster and will be available soon on eMusic , Sony Connect , and probably most if not all of the MusicNet partner sites (Yahoo Music Unlimited, iMesh, HMV Digital, Virgin Digital, etc.). Get it now, so I don't have to keep taking my change to the bank to eat!
"you sound like a guy who wants to make something of yourself, so i'm sure you will, sooner or later."
-Iggy Pop on me, 1994 I'm Scott Crawford. I do a lot of different things. If you're genuinely interested in me, you'll read this entire profile (and, if you so desire, some of the background material I link to here), come away with a better understanding of who I am, and maybe learn about something that will change your life. Sounds like a stretch, sure, but plenty of what I talk about here changed mine, so I think it's worth a shot.
One of the things I do, maybe the most important thing to me, is make music. The primary goal of having this page up here is to finally let some folks hear my music, after keeping it largely hidden from the world for most of my life. I will try to add new songs as often as possible, which means that some songs will go in and out of rotation.
I have begun playing shows, and will be playing more in the very near future. All shows will be announced here. If you would like to see me play in your area, please let me know , especially if you can actually book shows for me.
If you're a member of the press (big or small) interested in interviewing me, drop me a line here or
[email protected] and we'll set something up. Just fill me in on the details in your message/email and we'll take it from there. I can do in-person, phone, email or instant message interviews, I'm not especially picky.
Some past musical endeavors of mine that you may have heard of: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion (12/26/2004-12/23/2005): "Mister Abortion is dead. Long live Mister Abortion." alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion was a year-long project that dealt more with the concepts of identity and Internet popularity than with actual music. when I was looking at Usenet one day, I found the newsgroup alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion, and I was amazed by how messed up that name was. So, in true Scott Crawford fashion, I was like "That would be a GREAT band name!" From there, I decided to whip up some music that was worthy of the name, and I put up a MySpace profile for the "band". It got interesting from there, because I then decided to see if I could make music of mine more "famous" than I could with my own name by remaining completely anonymous and playing the "add MySpace users who will make my project highly visible" game. I also had a borderline smutty user picture that MySpace eventually deleted, and that brought me a lot of attention as well.
To make a long story short, the experiment was a success. At one point, during the height of my active interest in the project, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion was getting more song plays per day than Interpol, The Faint, Le Tigre, and even Motley Crue, and it was usually neck and neck with Mindless Self Indulgence, songplay-wise (quite a feat, considering how rabidly fanatical their fanbase is). But, unfortunately, I got sick, and being two people at once became too much of a drain on me for a while. So, I decided that alt.abortion was going to be a finite experiment, and on December 23rd, 2005, the mysterious "Mr. Abortion" was unmasked during a live performance at New Jersey's Loop Lounge . Interestingly, the Loop were so concerned about the name of the band offending people that they wouldn't put it in their ads or on their web site, despite the fact that it may well have been a significant draw for them (as it was, I still brought in a lot of people). So, after the show, Mr. A was no more, and plans began for the proper start of my solo career.
Had I had the energy and inclination to do alt.abortion for an extended period of time, I probably would've ended up playing stadiums, just because things that ridiculous always happen in this world.
Get Precious (2004-2005). I played live Moog for the band on a good number of shows, and harassed the other band members on stage in-between hitting notes. I have left, but Get Precious lives on, and I wish them all the best.
Fleetwood Mac
Murder In The Dark (1993, 1999-2001, 2004). I played keyboards, programmed drums, sang mostly backing vocals with one lead, and helped with the arrangements. Murder In The Dark, to the best of my knowledge anyway, are no longer together in any form, but Kage Hopkins , our bassist, has signed on to go down with the good ship Scott Crawford, so we've got about half the band (or one lineup of it, anyway) involved and we have been performing "Tonight" and occasionally "Garden Of Stone" (both of which were written during the MITD days) in our sets.
If you'd like to keep up on some other things I do that aren't just about the music, go to My Big, Black Cock. That's my web site. Swear to God. I have another site called
antimatteruniverse. , but that's pretty new and was largely neglected over the holidays. Back to work on that soon. I also have a LiveJournal , which is mostly a way for me to bullshit with my friends, but occasionally has some things on it that aren't on my web site. Feel free to add me there. And, finally, since most of the world can only look at pictures these days, here's my Flickr account .
I had a personal profile on here too, but screw having multiple profiles, so let's deal with all the trappings of such here. Who I Want To Meet: I want to meet every cool person in the whole fucking world, starting with you.
I've lowered my friend add standards considerably here on MySpace (I'm kinda like "send in the clowns" at this point, because having standards can be so exhausting), but I do want to actually
connect with people on here whenever possible. However, unlike a lot of the folks on here, "connect" doesn't mean "sleep with" for me. Ultimately, I'm just looking for people to hang out with.
I should probably tell you that there are a few ways to not get your add request accepted... ...but first, let me delve into my selection process a bit. What I do when I get friend requests typically is go to the user's profile, and see what they're about in as brief a period of time as possible. For people, it generally just means that I look at the profile and see if they're a complete tool or not. If they aren't, then they're in. For bands, this means I listen to about 10 seconds of your first song unless it really hits it out of the park. If you don't appear to be completely horrible, I approve. If you do, I don't. I've been really busy of late, unfortunately, so I've got a huge backlog of music to actually
listen to. I'm actually probably hiring someone (and paying them in paper clips and lint) to listen to music for me soon. Seriously. Now that we've gotten that out of the way...
1. If you send me a friend request that&..39;s clearly and obviously been done by a mass-add script, unless something compels me to look at your profile, you're probably not getting in, and I'm probably going to report you as a spammer to boot. Of course, if you're doing mass adds, you're probably not even reading this, or anyone else's profile, so my mentioning this is pointless. Of course, if you do read this, you'll learn that I'm actually your real father. I'm sorry I left, but your mother was a real bitch and she was driving me nuts. Oh, and THE FUZZ were after me.
2. I know that a lot of people are like "If you want me to be your friend, send a message first", but I really hate that crap. It adds a step to the process (which I described above) for me. It should be obvious if you've been on MySpace for more than an hour that as nice as it'd be if people were polite here, they're really not, so just go with the flow. Send me a request, and we'll take it from there. People who send me these "mother may I" messages, especially if they appear automated (see above) really cheese me off, y0.
3. I don't have many real enemies left in this world that I'm aware of, and the only 2 people I can think of in this world who I can honestly say I hate have killed other people recklessly and/or maliciously. Surprisingly, the actual animosity that I have toward individual people is almost all gone. However, there are definitely some folks who've exhausted my patience over the course of my life to the point where I'd rather not continue to exhaust it, as I have a lot on my plate, and just waking up most days is a chore. If you're pretty sure that you're still on the "I've exhausted Scott's patience" list and are curious about your status there and/or interested in resolving any differences you may have with me, I recommend that you send a message to me and ask me what's up before sending an add request. Just sending an add request puts me in a position where I have no idea what's on your mind, if you realize that any distance that may have formed between you and I was for a reason, and it's just generally awkward, so I'd prefer it if you didn't do that, and I may well turn down your request (along with a possible "you got a lotta goddamn nerve comin' around here" note). Seriously, drop me a line if you're curious. You should probably be at least a little brave and prepared to deal with what my reply might be if you're going to do this (I can think of one situation where I totally did open a can on someone to the point where she didn't reply...hi, Sandy!), but I think that most of you would actually be pleasantly surprised by how I react. If you've read this and aren't quite sure that contacting me and/or sending me a friend request is a good idea, no worries. Have a GREAT life!
There are also ways to get yourself removed from my friends list. I know, reading all of this stuff is no fun, and if people exercised common sense, taste and good manners more often, I wouldn't have to spell this all out, but they don't, so I do. The easiest way to get yourself removed from my friends list is to post an inordinately high amount of bulletins per day, especially if you're posting about bullshit I care absolutely nothing about. I'm actually way more slack about this than most people are, because I realize that my bulletin list is going to be high traffic no matter what, but if you're posting 10 bulletins' worth of nonsense or more per day, you can safely assume that you're probably not going to stay on my friend list for long. I feel bad about it, because people friend me out of interest in my music and activities and it sucks to have to smack down those folks, but I also update my profile very regularly with news about upcoming events, and have a pretty massive web presence in general, so it's easy to keep up with me almost to the point of stalking me without getting access to my bulletins. Aside from that major faux pas, the other ways to get yourself booted without actually getting into a fight with me involve leaving a lot of dumb comments (especially if you forget or don't pay attention to the fact that I don't accept HTML comments and keep sending them) or being excessively, impolitely self-promotional (Good: "Hey, are you coming to our show at (venue here) on Friday?" Bad: "*insert club flyer-length ad full of hyperbole here*". This whole site's one big friggin' ad already, folks. Do you have to make it worse? I know you're way more tasteful than that, or can be, anyway.), so try not to do either of those things.
If you feel that I've rejected your friend request or deleted you in error.... Now, I'm fairly certain that a lot of people, upon having a friend request turned down or getting booted off someone's friends list, would be like "Well, fuck him!", but if you're legitimately bothered that I didn't accept your request or kicked you off my profile, or feel that I may have made a mistake in doing so, send me a message letting me know that you are actually interested in me and/or my music, and aren't just trying to pad your numbers via automated bullshit or trying to sell me something. Chances are, this could totally be a misunderstanding and I'll be happy to have you aboard.
Here's some stuff I like... Music: "Music is the best." -Dale Bozzio as Mary, from Frank Zappa's "Joe's Garage".
I listen to a LOT of music. No laundry list of dropped names I could put here would do justice to my feelings on music. But, since the demand has been simply overwhelming, here's a laundry list of dropped names (note that this is a partial list): 4AD (the old, good stuff), AC/DC, Andrew W.K., Bauhaus, Biz Markie, Black Sabbath, Cathedral, Clan Of Xymox, Dalbello, David Bowie, Devin Townsend, Earth Eighteen, Frank Sinatra, Frank Zappa, Franz Ferdinand, Fuzzbox, Godflesh, Hazel O'Connor, Iggy Pop, Ima Robot, Kate Bush, Lene Lovich, Love And Rockets, Lush, Marc Almond, Miranda Sex Garden, Monster Magnet, Mudhoney, Nina Hagen, Olivia Newton-John, Patti Smith, Peter Gabriel, Prince, Psychedelic Furs, Queensryche, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Sinead O'Connor, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Sisters Of Mercy, Skinny Puppy, Slayer, Soft Cell, Stiv Bators, Tears For Fears, Terence Trent D'Arby, The Cure, The Damned, The Dandy Warhols, The Darkness, The Faint, This Mortal Coil, Toyah, Ultra Vivid Scene, Xmal Deutschland, and ZZ Fuckin' Top.
Also, see the "Sharing The Love" section below for more music.
Some Movies I like: The Last American Virgin, Xanadu, Porky's II: The Next Day, Almost Famous, The Big Lebowski, Boogie Nights, 61*, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sex, Lies, And Videotape, A Clockwork Orange, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Battle Royale, Fade To Black (the 1980 one with Dennis Christopher and Linda Kerridge), Mr. Saturday Night, American Beauty, American Psycho (I seem to have a thing for movies with "American" in the title, don't I? American Ninja IV was also pretty damn good, come to think of it...) The Girl Next Door (total recent guilty pleasure) and anything with Godzilla or Jack Nicholson.
Some TV Shows I like: Deadwood, The Honeymooners, Dragnet, The Young Ones, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Coupling, Father Ted, TV Funhouse, Big Love, the new Doctor Who series, and generally anything that's either British and funny or on HBO on Sunday nights.
Some Books I like: Recently: biographies of some of my heroes (not necessarily the ones listed below), reference books, and anything that Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, Alan Moore and George Perez ever touched. I barely read any non-comic book fiction these days. It's just not the kind of thing I feel a strong urge to do right now.
A few of my heroes: Among a great many others, Iggy Pop, Roger Maris, Andrew W.K. and Jack Kirby stand out. When I was 4, my heroes were Chuck Scarborough (who's still at this news thing!), Peter Criss and Reggie Jackson. I've actually met every living person on this list except for Chuck Scarborough. I need to work on that. Recently, I've been thinking about what a cool friggin' guy Mr. Rogers was too, so I think he might be on this list as well.
"Sharing The Love" As I've been making my way through MySpace, I've been pleasantly surprised to find some legitimately awesome music among the unsigned and quasi-unsigned artists here. Some of you are doing much better work than I'd expected to hear. I've also found and re-acquainted myself with some bands who I've known about for a long time, but for whatever reason haven't gotten the exposure and attention they deserve. In this space, I will highlight the best and brightest. For those who know I've seen their profile but don't see their name in lights here, I'm sorry, but I'm going on pure opinion here. It doesn't mean that your band sucks necessarily, but like anyone, I have my preferences. It is also very possible that I may need to spend a little more time with your music before I give it my seal of approval (there's at least a handful of bands who fit this category as I type this), so be patient, and perhaps you will show up here.
I am doing this totally of my own accord, with no formal affiliation (or in some cases, approval) from the artists in question. DO NOT ask me or beg me to mention you in this space unless you're legitimately serious about offering me hefty bribes (usually involving cash, sexual favors, or consumer electronics) to appear here, and even if that unlikely event comes to pass, the only thing I can promise you about what I write is that you'll be properly linked to when I write it. In these cases, I will note exactly what was given to me in exchange for a link, because there are some things that I actually am all about full disclosure on. Also, for the most part, if you're on a major label or a bigger indie label, I won't be promoting you here, unless I think your stuff is extraordinary and being overlooked, so don't ask. Give the little guys a chance, eh?
With that said, here is a list, in no particular order, of some artists I've found on MySpace whose work I've appreciated:
Linda Strawberry
Little Bunny Fuck You
Nunwhore commando 666
Get Precious
Royal Music Academy
Kaitlyn ni Donovan
Godbox
Cottonmouth, Texas
The Specimen
Coloring Book
Space Robot Scientists
Black Ice
Soviet
The Free French
Junior Blanks
Gods Of Fire
Uniform
Ima Robot
Lauren Hoffman
Alexandra Scott
Happy Rhodes
Zambri
Five Star Dive
The Lost Patrol
ProCon
dalek
The Late Cord
Skanner
Babyland
Jane Jensen
The Essence
Newbreed
Celebration
No Mold Yet
The Bavarian Drug Lords
KRISTEENYOUNG
A Place To Bury Strangers
Pretty In Velvet
Nanuchka
Semi-Precious Weapons
Strange Things Done In The Midnight Sun
Bell Hollow
Dalbello
Killdozer
p> For those of you who aren't familiar with George or his story and are too lazy to click the banner above, George is a writer, musician, and and an all-around great guy. He's been a staple of New York's underground for as long as I can remember, and I've described him (even to him, in fact) as a sign that there are still some things right in the world.
George lived in lower Manhattan when 9/11 happened, and in addition to having all of his belongings destroyed by that nasty-ass dust cloud when the shit hit the fan, the "air" he breathed in around that time did a ton of damage to him, and he's now pretty damn sick. He's had a few operations, he's unable to work because of his health, and the U.S. government still won't cop to there being a "9/11 Syndrome" among the people (residents, aid workers, and so forth) that were heavily exposed to the aftermath of the World Trade Center collapse and are now seriously ill.
Being an eloquent writer in his own right, George does a better job of explaining his situation here than I could, so if you're still too lazy to click a link, get over it, go read what he has to say, and help the man out if you can, however you can (even just by adding him on MySpace and helping to spread the word, if you can't afford to send him anything). He'd do the same for you in a heartbeat, and he wants to stick around so he can help the other people who are in the same boat as he is right now, and just live. I don't attach my name to many causes, but George Tabb is as worthwhile as they come. Help him out if you can.
For those of you who don't like handouts (and believe me, he isn't happy about having to ask for them), George also does have 2 books out, both of which are available by Amazon. He's a very funny guy, so I think you'll enjoy them. You'll find your way to both books via the banner below.
Oh, and I need money, too. My situation isn't as dire as George's, but I'm still not in the best shape over here. When I said "need" above, I meant "I can't function without it, never mind make music, because I am totally fucking poverty-stricken and kind of a mess myself, despite any appearances to the contrary." Sending me money is an investment in the future of this project, as well as insurance that I do things like, you know, eating. Your return? More music. Got it? Good.
"I'm made of metal
My circuits gleam
I am perpetual
I keep the country clean"
-Judas Priest, "Electric Eye" I'm so totally fucking stalking you. See if you can find yourself on the map! Click the Geovisitors button below.
The mailing list. Join it, or you will pay. Name: E-mail:
This mailing list will be very low-traffic, and used for major announcements (shows, music releases, and other special events) only. I promise not to abuse the powah, and I would love it if you signed up. Seriously. It'd warm my heart, which would also fill my arteries up with ice water and probably drown me, but I'm willing to overlook that.
And, finally... HTML comments are back off. Y'all blew it. Sorry.
